.. she lives with us so I can’t. She moved in with DP and our three teens 6 months ago because she couldn’t afford the rental increase at her current place. It was meant to be a short term solution while she saved money but for various reasons including the cost of living and lack of affordable rentals we are going to be stuck with her for longer and I can’t stand it.
She’s poor. She doesn’t contribute to any rent or bills, only very occasionally buys small food items. We cook her dinners, she never cleans or helps with washing up but maybe that’s to be expected since she’s 75 (in good health though).
im also stressed and worried about one of the kids who has a serious mental health problem and needs a lot of support from me. She’s aware enough of this although not the specifics.
Despite all this last week out of the blue she had a screaming crazy pissy fit at me over something she was unhappy about. She did this even though she is living for free in our house. She did this even knowing her behaviour would add to my already existing stress worrying about my kid. she did this even though she knows it’s not acceptable behaviour to give a verbal spew of aggression to another adult, she’s done it to plenty of friends in the past and those friendships have ended. Although perhaps she doesn’t get that part of it, as her side of the story is always very innocent and the friend is at fault, but this has happened almost a dozen times over the past 20 years and she is the common denominator.
I’m just so over it. She’s used me as an emotional punching bag all my life and thinks that yelling like a crazy loon at another adult is acceptable behaviour.
I don’t even know why I’m posting, to vent I guess and wondering if anyone else has a difficult mother and how do they deal with her? A friend thinks my mother is abusive but I don’t think she is as she usually only gives her verbal aggressive spews at me once or twice a year and other than that she’s usually ok.
Anyway I’m being polite to her as I have to see her in the house all the time but my once peaceful home is now a place of stress. And I feel like an idiot letting her move in in the first place. I just want her out and if I never had to see her again I would not care. I feel too worn down by her, it’s been gradual but my main feelings for her are now just guilt and duty and reluctant responsibility and feeling sorry for her because she’s poor and angry and doesn’t get why her behaviour causes issues with others. It’s also not the first time since she’s moved in that she’s had a verbal spew at me, the earlier one was when we were waiting to go into a church for a funeral and I was so worried she was going to cause a scene,but fortunately we could calm her down before she got too loud and pretend everything was fine.