So I've been with my partner for 8 years now, we have 3 kids together.
Our relationship hasn't been great for a while, I'm pretty sure he only got me pregnant with #1 because I was about to leave him. He denies that, but he didn't want kids yet before then.
Anyway, in recent times, the last few months and even maybe years he seems to snap over the smallest things. He got full blown angry throwing things around the other day because he had to wash some forks for dinner because they were all dirty. He was totally fine before that, and within seconds he was yelling. He swears around the kids all the time and my 4yo keeps copying it all the time. He says he doesn't expect the house to be spotless when he's home from work but if it isn't he gets angry and starts storming around kicking stuff.
I feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells because anything could make him flip out.
He is always making offhand remarks about sex, saying I don't give it to him enough, he said I owed it to him on his birthday and he has been saying I owe him a BJ because I didn't give him one on his last birthday and he's said that all year. He keeps track of how many days it's been since we had sex and gives me reminders, tells me "we didn't have sex last night" if I've said maybe but it didn't happen. I just always feel guilt tripped with sex and in the past have had sex just to shut him up when I didn't even want to.
He has no respect for any housework I do. With 3 kids under 4 I can't always finish everything I start, so I've got a clean laundry pile on the chair in the living room and he won't stop putting dirty things in it claiming he didn't know they were clean. He does because I told him a thousand times and he looks there for clean work clothes.
He just doesn't care he's making more work for me.
He is chap with our 4 month old and won't even have her for more than 10 minutes without saying its too much to handle. But when he's been gone for 4 days straight he gets mad at me if I get overwhelmed with having the kids by myself for that long in a row with not even a second break.
He has lied to me multiple times about different things, porn, drugs, fags. And just to make it clear I wouldn't care about smoking fags if he didn't lie, it's the lying that I won't stand for.
He blames me for the fact he's not written a book yet, saying I don't motivate him enough despite the fact I've bought him pens, a laptop, offered to take the kids out so he can write but he just games instead.
For 8 years I've supported him, but he's made 0 effort to move towards any goal. He said he wanted to study at uni but he won't even apply, won't do the equivalency test, always has am excuse. Usually blames me.
He does cook most of the time, and he cleans half the kitchen sometimes, obviously is the breadwinner.
Is it unreasonable of me to want to leave? Is this just normal relationship stuff? We got together as teens, I've got no other relationship experience and every time I feel like leaving he says all those things together aren't big enough to leave him and that I'm overreacting. So I second guess myself and stay.
My baby is EBF and too young to be in childcare, my MAT pay is only £100pw so not enough to live on and it stops in December but baby will still be too young to wean off breaatmilk. I don't know what to do, I have no money, can't afford to move out (this house is too mouldy so really don't want to stay), I've literally go nowhere to go, no family to stay with, or friends. I don't know what to do.