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Relationships

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Original poster

Is this a red flag on a dating profile?

23 replies

NameChanger567 · 04/09/2022 17:31

What would you think if you matched with someone or saw a profile where the only photos they had on their profile were photos of them taken in the same room room with the same background.
No photos with friends
No photos in bars or restaurants at events or even any photos taken outside. Just selfies of them taken the their home.

Would this put you off? I am not saying it would put me off. I just want to hear other people's opinions.

OP posts:

Russell19 · 04/09/2022 17:33

Not straight away, but if we chatted and they didn't send any more over if asked then probably yes.

CoraContrary · 04/09/2022 17:35

I don't think you should put photos of other people on dating sites. Two reasons, you don't want any ambiguity as to which one you are and also feel you shouldn't use other peoples photos unless they know or you can tag them.

It definitely does say something about them as a person but I don't think it's a bad thing. I don't take pictures of myself when I'm out. It's only when I'm with younger work colleagues that pictures are really taken so I couldn't put up pictures like you say but I'd be ok to date... probably.

Wildflowerbeauty · 04/09/2022 17:36

After chatting , ask for a video call to get to know him abit first before a possible date . That way you can gage if you like him , see if there are anymore red flags and decide if you wanna meet up .

Discovereads · 04/09/2022 17:51

I wouldn’t see it as a red flag. I think seeing a person at various parties drinking and such would be a party animal flag. Profiles are all fake anyway, maybe they’re just being real and presenting themselves as they are. You have to chat to them and get to know them before deciding anything.

RaininSummer · 04/09/2022 17:51

I don't think so. Chatting a while could establish if they seem to have friends and a social life. If I were to put pics up I wouldn't post any with friends. I face when I go out I don't tend to take selfies anyway.

Newusernameaug · 04/09/2022 17:53

Yes it would - I wouldn’t swipe right to them

Original poster

NameChanger567 · 04/09/2022 17:54

Newusernameaug · 04/09/2022 17:53

Yes it would - I wouldn’t swipe right to them

Can I ask why it would be a red flag?

OP posts:

SpinningFloppa · 04/09/2022 18:00

Why would it? I wouldn’t put friends on a dating website 😬

LaundryBin · 04/09/2022 18:04

Not at all- it’s thoughtful not to put friends on there without permission and they may just have been trying to get some photos of themselves looking their best. However, might take on a different meaning if other things are amiss.

Original poster

NameChanger567 · 04/09/2022 19:20

I didn't mean that not putting their friends in their pictures was a red flag, I meant that the lack of photos outdoors and doing stuff could possibly be a red flag. I would never be put off if the guy didn't have pictures with his friends

OP posts:

SpinningFloppa · 04/09/2022 19:25

So why did you include it? It still wouldn’t be a red flag to me if he had no pictures of him outside 😕

Discovereads · 04/09/2022 19:34

It wouldn’t be one for me either. People are moving away from the Instagram worthy feed of photos on their profiles now. Because everyone knows it’s a carefully curated “look at how awesome and fun and sexy I am” advertisement.

So I don’t think it’s a red flag to have opted out of all that. I do think it would be a red flag if he refused to do a video chat though…

Original poster

NameChanger567 · 04/09/2022 19:35

Discovereads · 04/09/2022 19:34

So I don’t think it’s a red flag to have opted out of all that. I do think it would be a red flag if he refused to do a video chat though…

I did have one guy ages ago who would not video chat. Not sure what it could mean. Does it mean he is married or living with a partner?

OP posts:

Discovereads · 04/09/2022 19:47

NameChanger567 · 04/09/2022 19:35

I did have one guy ages ago who would not video chat. Not sure what it could mean. Does it mean he is married or living with a partner?

Show quote history

Most often it means he is catfishing. The photo is either him but 25yrs old, or it’s not him but someone else’s photo (someone better looking).

Here is a recent catfish example
nypost.com/2022/09/01/man-catfished-by-a-grandmother-on-tinder/

CoraContrary · 04/09/2022 19:51

Some people just don't like video chat and it's awkward. My dad would refuse and not want to date someone who pushed him to have a video chat. That may be generational but I also would not be keen. I'd arrange a drink somewhere.

AssignedSlytherinAtBirth · 04/09/2022 19:59

Some people just don't take loads of photos, especially of themselves. He could be a very genuine person, or a sociopath. Only one way to find out!

QueenCamilla · 04/09/2022 20:12

The only photos that include me and are not taken by me are those from family/friends barbecues and kiddie birthday parties.

It would be well weird to suddenly start asking my mates to take pictures of me... In the gym? Whilst I'm laying new floors in the kitchen? Do Liz Hurley and ask my son to snap me frolicking on the beach in my bikini?

My life on camera does not equal my life, so a couple of smiley selfies it is!

Not a red flag from a fully grown adult man either.

MrsClarkandPercy · 04/09/2022 20:15

I wouldn't mind at all. I would think he was just quite guileless and sweetly innocent and not all about show. Just a bit naive.

Then I would of course assess him in my conversation to see if he was a weird loner.

SilverLiningPlaybook · 04/09/2022 20:23

Not all loners are weird. Some people may be lonely, not have many friends or have been through a bad time.

Trying to find a partner may be a step toward trying to build a more sociable life.

Googlecanthelpme · 04/09/2022 20:24

I personally wouldn’t like it as it does suggest the person either a) doesn’t have any interests / social life / hobbies or doesn’t like to go anywhere outdoors or to events etc - even a walk in the park, I’m not talking concerts or anything fancy.
b) isn’t emotionally intelligent enough to realise that a dating profile should include a few different photos to give some context and flavour to your profile so that potential matches can see if you’re seemingly a good fit (and save wasting their and your time).

so for me, it would be a no.

However everyone is different and if you liked their bio and found them attractive and didn’t mind the lack of range in the photos then message him and try and gauge his hobbies and interests from the conversation.

chaoticsmith · 04/09/2022 20:31

I rarely take photos of myself, the only ones I really have I take when I'm doing my profile or if I'm asked for one. I never include any of my daughter, workplace, friends or family. I don't have social media as I have no interest in it and I have a circle of friends I can count on one hand.

Its not for any insidious reason, I simply don't think of taking pictures of myself until I suddenly need them and then I procrastinate 😂

SavingsThreads · 04/09/2022 20:41

It would be a red flag to me. Indicates either:

they have no hobbies / interests
they have no social life
they haven't put any effort into their profile

Sunnytwobridges · 04/09/2022 21:03

Actually if I see tons of pics of someone and they are of him always doing something or with other people it would be a flag for me. Only in that means he may be too social or too much into activities and being on the go a lot which wouldn’t be something I’m interested in.

I say that because I’ve dated a couple of men that had tons of those types of photos and the always had to be doing something with someone and it became exhausting and I became boring to them lol

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