A dating one!

[OhHenry]

Hi all,

Of the back of another thread I was commenting on, I thought I would create my own thread and ask for some advice!

Long time lurker on Mumsnet!

I have recently turned 30....was out of the dating game for quite a long time due to personal reasons! Decided to sign up to a dating agency this summer. It's an all Ireland dating agency. I had signed up to tinder last summer and was horrified by the behaviour of some on it, I thought....never again! Dating had seemed to have changed so much...

For personal and medical reasons I have decided not to have children. So I told the agency it would be best to find me someone who already has them and doesn't want more....I know some men my age say they don't want them, however I think Noah do eventually, and I know it's super common for men to say that, then leave and have kids quite quickly with the next person they meet. A friend of mine was saying recently she has seen this happen quite a bit!

So anyway, I'm just wondering if any Mumsnetters have any experience of dating in Dublin? I'm from the north of Ireland but told them I'm happy to meet men from Dublin! I love the city and it is quite big, so I was hoping it wouldn't be good hard to find someone!

I am also potentially considering moving abroad (large North American city and I am eligible to apply for a visa) however, lack of annual leave and cold winter weather is putting me off...I was kind of hoping maybe dating would be easier there due to the sheer size of the place ....however a friend who lives there has said it's been really tough on them...and everyone is just so busy and it's very much a hustle culture, so dating is tough...

Any advice anyone?! Is dating in Ireland nigh on impossible?

Thank you in advance.

Also that's meant to say 'most' not 'Noah'

Bump 😁

Just bumping for you - sorry I have no idea what dating in like in Ireland

I'd imagine dating in Ireland is much the same as dating anywhere else, tbh.

Dire.

Go out, get into the world and meet real people. Know yourself so you know what to accept and what not to accept. Observe. That's always been the best way to meet someone and always will be.

I don't know about Ireland (I'm in England, previously London) but dated extensively and would say that logistics is a really important factor in meeting people. Decide how far you're willing to travel- say an hour- and stick to it.

An agency sounds good though. I don't know what their processes are for getting etc but if it's a paid agency not just crappy old Tinder then I'd assume the men on their books are serious about meeting a partner so would be quite open minded about meeting their suggested guys. Don't spend ages chatting beforehand though. It's about not investing loads of time and energy until you get a good real life connection. So maybe a quick text chat, even a phone call (not all evening) and then meet in person ASAP. Point is you don't know someone until you meet and doing it this way means you don't build up a picture only to be disappointed if you don't click in real life.

I understand American dating culture is different (a lot more 'multidating' although it's going that way over here now) but would assume the principles are the same. Don't invest too soon emotionally and ensure things are kept moving in person.

Why do you want to date men who already have children?

Have you considered that you won't be their priority? That you may be roped in with doing 'wife work' and domestic drudgery if they have younger children? That you may feel sad/frustrated you can't have your own but our dealing with other people's children?