Sorry this is a long one. I’ve known my new partner for years through mutual friends but have never been close. But we started talking last year properly after he replied to one of my social media status’ through direct message. We were talking and going out for a few months but I just weren’t feeling it so cut it off. Then we sort of rekindled earlier this year and have been going out since then.
He has met my son and things have been going well but I just have one problem I feel that he is very tight especially with money. This was the main problem the first time around but thought I’d give us another shot, maybe I was just being to fussy. But it’s got the to point now were it’s become a slight burden on me. I know that sounds awful but I pay for nearly everything, he doesn’t drive so I drive us round places all the time, it’s about £65 to fill up my tank every time we go out, he never offers to pay just sits there while I fill the car up. If we have to park anywhere I pay for the parking and any tolls etc. If he wants to come down I pick him up and drop him off back home. If we go through a drive through I pay. When he’s at my house he’ll eat my food, shower here (I’ve just came back from the shop and he’d been in the shower for 25 minutes) charge his laptop phone headphones etc. Using my gas/lecky etc I know it doesn’t sound much but I’m a working single mum have no financial help off anyone and struggle as it is without feeling like I’m supporting an extra person who doesn’t even live here.
Even when we go shopping together
for our tea he’ll get his card out but stand there and take ages waiting for me to offer which I always do and he’s goes ‘ok then’ and just lets me. When we go out to eat with my son I don’t want him feeling like he has to pay for us both so I end up paying for us all. Feel like i spend a fortune on a simple day out. Don’t get me wrong he has paid for some things the first time we went out was only to Pizza Hut the bill was £20 he got that, I offered to go halves but he said ‘we’ll just go somewhere nice next time and you can get it then it’s fair’ that was a turn off but I kept just thinking I’m being fussy over something small.
Don’t even need a man to pay for me just want him to contribute more. And what makes it worse for me is that he lives with his mum and dad in a massive detached house and is on 30+ grand a year plus bonuses and has about 25+ grand in savings. We have sort of beat around the bush discussing this I jokingly say ‘oh I always spend a fortune when out with you haha’ and his mums told him he needs to treat me more. Apart from this he’s a lovely man quite quiet, my ex was really abusive to me and he doesn’t shout at me or be nasty and doesn’t treat me bad. But this is killing the spark for me, am I just sounding mean and making a fuss over nothing and just need to accept it because he’s nice ? Or am I being too soft and just need to cut it off and move on? Really don’t want to sound mean and hurt his feelings but I don’t know what to do. Any advice is appreciated, thank you.