DH Needs Constant Reassurance

[Aldith]

Just that

This year has been a bad year for us. Back in March DH got diagnosed with cauda equina syndrome. Taken into hospital by ambulance in the early hours of Tuesday morning, surgery on his back on Wednesday where disks got removed and shaved and sent home on Thursday to recover. He hadn’t been with the company long so he was on statutory sick pay and I have a zero hours contract. I kept applying for other jobs but got nothing. As a result our savings took a massive battering but we still have around £5000 left.

DH cannot go back to the job he was doing as he is now not allowed to lift more that 20kg or crawl into small spaces. He applied for other jobs but heard nothing. Finally this week he managed to get a job night trunking in an HGV and the money is the same as what he was on when he had his shirt and tie job.

DH is now asking me asking me constantly if I am disappointed in him as he took a driving job and didn’t wait for a shirt and tie job to come up. I keep reassuring him I am not disappointed as he’s happy. Yes it means some adjustments to our lives but nothing unmanageable. I don’t know how else to assure him.

I respect anyone that will work so I am impressed he has taken any job to support his family. What he is doing isn't of interest to me, Impressed by the fact he is doing it and I suspect you're the same.

Well done to him for cracking on and getting a job. Have you asked him why he keeps asking you? I would. Sit him down and tell him that your answer is not going to change no matter how many times he asks because it doesn’t matter whether he wears a tie. It might not have registered with him that he has been repeatedly asking so this might make him realise.

Thank you both. I will ask him why he is so worried I would be disappointed. He was night tramping in an HGV when we first met and I went overnight with him in the truck a few times in the early days of our relationship. He worked in construction many years ago and the bottom fell out of the housing market and he lost his job. He got his HGV license to keep money coming in. After we met he went back to construction again but I knew he had kept his license up to date as he said you never know if it will happen again. I don’t care what he does as long as it’s legal.