I met a man at my running club. The past 2 months we have gotten closer. Recently we both confessed we have feelings for each other. Yesterday he took me out for the day, we have done this a few times now.
At the beginning of the night he said he sensed I had fear and I got upset and he told me to come closer and he held me and asked why I was upset. He is right I am anxious and a bit nervous because I haven't had a relationship in 10 years as I haven't met anyone. My last relationship was full of domestic and emotional abuse which has left me cautious - he doesn't know this but he has told me about how he has been in an abusive relationship before. I said I am worried I will fall for him and don't want to think if it doesn't work out and to make me laugh he said "you won't fall for me" which got me laughing. He said just enjoy the moment and don't think about the future.
We both have such a strong connection and he really cares for me and has told me all of this. I was able to relax a lot more after we spoke.
The one thing he doesn't know is I have never had sex before. I didn't have sex with my ex as the domestic abuse made me freeze with fear. I feel really comfortable with this man. He said to me last night as we have been kissing a lot that he likes me because I am not like other women and respect myself not rushing into things. He said he does not want to have sex just yet and that it is my decision when this happes as the lady decides and must feel comfortable. I know he got quite in the mood last night but he refused to cross any boundaries. He said he isn't going anywhere and said he wants to date and see where things go but he doesn't want anyone else. He doesn't want to rush in to things, I said I am the same as he said he doesn't want to get hurt and I said I don't either.
I don't know what to do as I know he is the man for me but I don't want to drive him away with anxiety or the fact I am virgin may put him off. I know this isn't the case as he loves everything about me. I know he would be very caring when we have sex.