I have been in an on/off relationship with my partner for 11 years. We live separately but we have a 4 year old together. I also have 2 adult children from a previous relationship. My partner was thrilled when I found out I was pregnant with our DS. I was not. I didn't want anymore children and had taken emergency contraception to prevent pregnancy. When that failed I told my partner that I wanted to terminate the pregnancy but he pressured me into continuing. He told me that all he ever wanted was to be a dad and that women were queuing up to have his baby. Despite me asking him not to, he then told his family and friends who started to buy me baby things. I didn't want to end up being a single mum again but when I tried to discuss my concerns he brushed them off. When I tried to talk to him about moving in together (so we could be a proper family unit) he told me I was thinking too far ahead. Fast forward 4 years and we still don't live together. For the first 2 weeks after our son was born he stayed over at my house to help. After that nothing, not 1 night. He made all sorts of excuses-he can't sleep in my bed, he forgot to bring his work clothes etc. He was like a visitor who would come to my house when it suited, stay a couple of hours then leave. He enjoyed the fun things and showing our son off to people but left all the hard work to me. I assumed he was struggling to adjust to fatherhood so I supported him the best I could. I was struggling too and was referred to the mother and baby unit for depression. As time went on he became more and more hostile towards me so we split when our son was 8 months old. After a year we got back together and took things slowly. He expressed that he didn't want to stay over at my house so I suggested that on a weekend we could stay at his. He said it was a good idea but took no steps to make it happen. I ended up buying a bed for our son to sleep in, new bedding, a lamp etc to make his room look nice. Since buying my son a bed he has slept in it for 2 nights and that was due to my complaining, saying that we never stay. I feel like he likes the title of being a dad but doesn't want any of the responsibility that comes with it. My partner can lie in bed on a weekend, go the gym when he wants to, and pick and choose what he wants to do. I feel so down and alone. I feel like he wants his cake and eat it.