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Original poster

Husband doesn’t want sex but blames me

11 replies

Confused455 · 03/09/2022 09:46

over the last two years our sex life is awful. We had sex a month ago but before that it was about 6 months. And when we do I have to dress up every time to make it “exciting”. His request. I would love just to have normal sex where I don’t have to dress up every time. Our kids are teenagers now so we wait until they go to sleep which is normally around 11pm.
he says I’m not interested but he says he’s bored of waiting for them to go to sleep and just gets up and goes to bed.
anyone got any tips or help? I feel so unloved right now. Been together 17 yrs.

OP posts:
Original poster
Confused455 · 03/09/2022 10:14

Anyone?

OP posts:
FloppyFlippy · 03/09/2022 10:17

Is going away together for a night and option?

Original poster
Confused455 · 03/09/2022 10:22

We have a disabled son and don’t trust people with his car so makes it very difficult

OP posts:
FloppyFlippy · 03/09/2022 10:23

It sounds like he needs a lot of stimulus to get him in the mood, this is possibly due to watching lots of porn and having unrealistic expectations of what a regular sex life is like.He may have ED issues or not be attracted to you.
It isn’t fair he’s putting this on you, you deserve a physically close relationship.
The teen thing is very hard, my DH was very similar, he simply could not perform if he thought out DC were still awake in their rooms, by the time they were asleep we had passed out with exhaustion .

Aquamarine1029 · 03/09/2022 10:24

You "have to" dress up. Why are you doing so when it's clear you don't like it?

J0y · 03/09/2022 10:28

omg fuck that. You have to make it exciting for him?

I'd tell him your fantasy next, my turn buddy, that I'm desired for who I actually am and that the person making love to me values me, loves me and feels lucky to be with me.

Original poster
Confused455 · 03/09/2022 11:09

Yes it think it might be something to do with ED so he’s in denial and blaming me over it.

OP posts:
Username3008 · 03/09/2022 19:05

First of all, please do not carry the burden of this. This is not on you.

Secondly, as a PP said, sounds like maybe he watches a lot of porn and has lost sight of what normal sex actually is. You shouldn't have to dress up all the time to get him in the mood, especially if it's not something you enjoy doing. It goes both ways.

Buttingtons · 03/09/2022 19:15

Fucking hell, you're not a stripper or a blow up doll.

I'd hate this.

TooHotToTangoToo · 03/09/2022 19:38

I'd hate this too @Buttingtons

Anything where I 'had to do something' would be a massive turn off.

What does he do to turn you on and put you in the mood?

Aikko · 03/09/2022 23:41

I would guess that too much porn usage is causing the issues from his side, which contributes to him needing a lot of stimulus to get aroused.

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