First Christmas separated

[Invasionofthegutsnatchers]

In early stages of separation after 19 years together. I've made appointment with a solicitor, opened my own bank account for the first time since I was a student and have obtained a credit card for emergencies. Next job is to book financial advisor appointment.

Husband is very angry and bitter as didn't want to separate but now wants it and ultimately divorce. Relief to be on the same page.

I won't be moving out until I can get hold of my share of the equity- 200k roughly. Then will be buying a small house of my own. 50.50 custody.

Christmas time I will likely still be in our house that we jointly own. What the fuck is it going to look like other than a complete shitshow?

Do you have DC and how old are they?

What have previous Christmases looked like?

And do you mean he'll still be living there too?

Sorry this is happening to you.

I'm in the same boat and dreading it. I hoped to buy a house but keep getting out bid (mainly by buy to let and holiday let landlords and😡). I'm wondering about getting a short term holiday let over Christmas as my parents are due up. Then sharing Christmas as the plan will be eventually. It's going to be tough! My husband is very bitter and angry and not playing fair at all so I definitely don't want Christmas with him, and he would make my parents very unwelcome. I hope you manage to sort something. Do you have family you could do the same with? X

I'm in a devastating situation.
My husband of 3 years has told me he wants a divorce & I'm completely broken.
He is suffering from depression (or so it definitely seems, he's refused to get help or admit there is anything wrong with him) it started at the beginning of this year, out of blue he said he didn't love me anymore & wanted out. He has a gambling addiction that I've supported his through for our entire relationship & marriage (total of 7 years)
He is also suffering (I believe, again not diagnosed but the signs point to) PTSD from a prison sentence he faced just before we got married. This was very traumatic for him & I thought I had helped him through it.
But since Jan this year he became withdrawn, wouldn't communicate with me (which is hard as it is as he is currently working abroad an we get hardly any time with eachother), he has lost interest in doing anything much, when he is home for a few days a month we don't really do much as he's still in substantial debt from the gambling.
So on top of all that he tells me first he doesn't feel the same about me & he doesn't want to keep hurting me.
He has done this 3 times so far, each time I'm a broken mess, then he sort of has clarity a few weeks later & promises he will change, get help & he loves me. I moved across the country to be with him so my family & friends are 300 miles away. The isolation and feeling of loss is monumental & I have no idea how I will be able to rebuild a life without him. I still love him, feelings don't just go away. Just wanted to know if there's anyone dealing with a similar thing ?