How to behave with difficult colleague?

[Greatbrick]

Have started another thread on this but basically a support colleague in my team has taken a dislike to me and seems to see me as a figure of fun.

I’m a fee earner in the team and they are support staff, we never have to work directly together but have to sit opposite. I have always been polite and friendly to them but recently have seen them staring at me and muttering, overheard them calling me a pejorative term when I was enjoying myself at a party and just generally a very difficult individual. I try to avoid and think I’m otherwise fine with the rest of the team.

How do I behave around this colleague going forward?!

It’s not an option to go to HR as my claims are pretty baseless plus they are best mates with HR…

Can you ask to move seats for a start? If it’s making you uncomfortable then you can ask someone to swap seats if you don’t want to go to HR.

Yep I can do that. The bit I resent is I hear them whispering to senior management about me! Which is awful.

Senior management need to be shutting them down. Behave professionally - that's it.

Your claims are either based in reality (things you/others have definitely heard) or they are based on you feeling paranoid and unsure of this person. If it's the first one, go to your own manager and say that this person is making you feel uncomfortable and making work hard for you. Make them do the work of sorting it.

Thanks, I think it will be dismissed as a personality clash unfortunately. I’d rather ride it out, looking for tips in the meantime though.

Can you ask them to clarify what they are saying, when they are muttering stuff
'Excuse me, I didn't quite catch that ? '
People will do stuff like that when you let them, sometime just gently challenging them a few times will shut them up.

Yes good point, she does it out of earshot to me but can clearly see what is happening. It’s so incredibly childish lol

You need to change seats so that you are nowhere near this person and you ought to gather a group of friends around you who know exactly what's going on. This person is a bully and you need to be protected.

I wouldn't be fooled by their perceived popularity either, only in an incredibly toxic workplace would people think this person behaviour was acceptable, a lot of your colleagues may feel exactly the same way about her, but tolerate her because they think she will turn on them.

Nope, nope, nope. It’s bullying. I think you should speak to HR and document every time it happens.

I’m about to return to work. Having experienced bullying behaviour in the past, I’m definitely going to stand up for myself this time. To politely challenge and call it out. And if that doesn’t work - take it further.

Your place of work has a duty of care towards you. Nip this in the bud now and don’t stand for it.