Totally broken

[Louie26]

So me and my husband have split up this afternoon 😢😢

In April we started having problems everything was my fault,
I wasn't home enough (I work full time/can't afford not too)
I didnt give him enough attention
He grew a beard (but hated hair)
different aftershave
Started going out with work friends more

we worked at it and I lowered my meds (was on them Due to the stress of the relationship as it came from no where) as I felt so good we were on the right track and making positive changes
then the last 4/5 days he's been a bit different, well today it came out he has feelings for someone else, a person who split up with her husband in April a work friend.

After being together nearly 15 years it's done.

I'm so sad my family and friends think he is having a midlife crisis but I'm so broken I have given him 15 years of life, he said jump I said how high I was that wife, they have told me it's time for me and the kids now (15,9)
But I feel so lost

There's so much to sort mortgage etc
I've just applied for universal credits
I start a new job on Monday it couldn't have come at a worse time for me 😢😢😢

OP it is such a shock you are going through now, don't try and do anything too big. Have you anyone who can support you in RL?

I went through the same..it leaves you questioning everything...many will say it..it does get easier, and you won't believeit but it does. However it is like a bereavement, there are stages of loss to go through. Start with getting angry.
This man you loved and did everything for has repaid you and his children with disrespect. His needs came above that of his family.

Is the new job able to give you a later start date? Have you checked your entitlement for support, including maintenance?

Sorry you're understandably upset, but he's a total shitbag.
Trying to find fault with you to justify his behaviour.
Good luck with the new job, make sure he does his share of childcare to facilitate this, claim for child maintenance asap.
Take it a day at a time.

I'm Working for an agency so if I don't go I don't get paid.
I have applied for universal credits and changed my bank passwords thou it looks like he has done the same.

We just got back today from our family holiday, he was on his phone a lot the kids noticed and mentioned it to him, or in the shower /toilet
He says nothing has happened but I'm not convinced and
I don't want him back and that hurts to say but I just don't know what to do

OP, I am in nearly the exact same situation so a big handhold from me. I swing between hysterical crying and anger. I don't know how to move forward at all, can't believe this is happening.

When I was reading the first part of your post the first thing that came to mind was there's another woman on the scene and boom there it was.

It's the script and we see it time and time again on here with men

Midlife crisis: this is the script! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1527705-Midlife-crisis-this-is-the-script

I'm not surprised it's a woman from work either;these emotional over the phone affairs nearly always seem to be women from the workplace.

It's time to get tough;he's no longer your friend here;he's already shafted you and you need to protect yourself.You should book yourself an appointment with a decent divorce solicitor immediately;don't delay.

I'm so sorry OP, it's sounding like he started seeing this woman in April from the clues . Blaming you for everything so he can justify to himself, going out more, improving his appearance, on his phone all the time. Maybe I'm wrong but looks very fishy.
He has treated you very badly, get angry, get finances in order. Hope you have support in real life. Take care of yourself.