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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I’m so lonely

28 replies

Seashellsandsand · 31/08/2022 21:15

That’s it.
Late fourties’ and never thought I would end up like this. I’m so sad about it.
I have one long distance online friend. Friendships have come and gone year after year until there is no one. I just wish I knew how to hold onto friends.
If I died no one would come to my funeral.
There is no possibility of making new friends. I work alone , kids left school. No hobbies due to mental health ( no help for that either)
I know I sound no fun whatsoever. Sat here crying yet again over it.

OP posts:
SilverLiningPlaybook · 01/09/2022 08:09

Buttingtons · 31/08/2022 22:38

I'm sorry op.

I was in a similar position about 10 years ago. I was single, very lonely, had 1 friend who was very busy and I rarely saw, and had an anxiety disorder bordering on agoraphobia.

It's a big leap, but can I suggest that you look into whether you have a Buddhist centre near you?

I'm not a Buddhist, or religious at all, and had no affiliation with them at all. But I started going to meditation and yoga sessions. I found it calming that it didn't require interaction with other people but at the same time you're "doing" something involving other people. Meditation is obviously a mostly silent class where you're just listening to the session leader, so that helped my social anxiety. I didn't have to feel too socially weird because I didn't have to speak, in fact you weren't supposed to.

I then started going to yoga, which led to going to retreats. I found Buddhists/people that attended to be friendly but not too loud/forceful. I could go along dressed in scruffs and no make up and blended in perfectly 😂

I'd highly recommend looking up your local Buddhist centre and going along to beginners meditation or mindfulness. You don't have to speak, nobody does. When I started I was a silent person terrified of having a panic attack if anything was asked of me. After 5 years I was joining them on yoga and mindfulness retreats in Scotland and France.

I'm still not a Buddhist, it's not an expectation. It's more about the teaching and about looking after yourself.

This is such a brilliant post. Really good advice. I am not a Buddhist either but have had the same experience although I don’t suffer from anxiety .

Meditation and the companionship of genuine, kind and caring people who have no agenda is life changing.

SilverLiningPlaybook · 01/09/2022 08:12

I’ve also seen many people who were struggling with huge issues and very broken being immensely helped. I used to go on retreat in Scotland a lot and it’s been a life saver.

Mary46 · 01/09/2022 12:39

Op its hard. I found same unless I chase people nothing.. the dogs are good they get you out. I find I meet the same people now. No easy answer I had to force myself into new things or I see nobody.

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