When you bump into your ex for the first time...

[Freeda3]

... how did you feel? We broke up in 2021 and I saw mine for the first time a few days ago. We'd been together 5 years. We were both in different groups of people and came within yards of each other. We caught each other's eye and when we were passing both turned again to look at each other. It took me a good year to get over him and would never go back there, but my heart was racing afterwards and I've been thinking of it over the past couple of days. Is this a normal reaction?

I think that sounds entirely normal .
Not seen mine for 8 months and not over it really . I think I'd go into a shock type state if I saw him . It's uncomfortable. It's facing something you've tried hard to forget . For me there are a lot of unsaid things as there wasn't any closure .
The way you've reacted will fade again . Sounds like you've moved on .

I bumped into mine whilst out running the weekend, didn't catch his eye but he saw me. He text me later to say how broken he is still & we met up went out for food & slept together. Absolute worst thing I could've done, we still love each other but for multiple reasons I can't go back. Now I'm back to heartbreak central and have cried a river, just when I was feeling so much better. He's sad, I'm sad, fuck it's hard.

Going to run a different route next Saturday!!!

My ex had really messed me around and things ended in the most hurtful way. It took me a long time to get over it and to try to move on.
Two years later I was out on a date, it was an amazing date so I was happy and on a high, then he grabbed my hand and we crossed the road to go into a bar, he held back to let some people past and my ex was in the group. I felt a mix of emotions from nervousness to satisfaction that it would have impacted him in some way seeing me so happy with someone else. After the way things ended with him he deserved to have that blow. I love karma.

Your thoughts about seeing your ex will fade. It’s always a weird feeling that you were once so happy and in love with that person then suddenly they are like a stranger passing in the street

@Allicando how long since you broke up?

It's been nearly 4 years since I split up with my ex. And he still keeps turning up places he knows I will be. I can't bear it.
I just ignore him completely because he's just attention-seeking. He has a new girlfriend and has been cocklodging living with her for nearly 3 years.

Best thing to do is just pass by, head held high. And don't respond to any messages he may send in the next few days.
See @Allicando 's post. Allicando, that happened with me a few times in the first year after I split with him (and before he started cocklodging living with the new woman). Can you block him on everything so that if you do bump into him again, he can't then "get to you" afterwards by messaging, and therefore you dodge the meeting up thing.

My ex dumped me in 2019 and we pass each other a few times a year as we live in the same town. I'm not over him and each time is like a bullet to the heart! It is very very painful. I would never take him back but do wish he would contact me. Sadly, he hates me! Horrid situation.

We broke up in May when I found he'd signed up to a dating website, we were married, it's been so hard. I can block him but we live in a small town so realistically it'll happen again.

Worst thing is I asked him to meet up Saturday and thought I could handle it, thought I was 'over' him but boy I was wrong. I want to go back and he wants me back but it'll never work, besides the lying we were always rowing over petty things. Such a shame as we had so many good times too - I'm so sad 😔

Oops name change fail!!

I can block him but we live in a small town so realistically it'll happen again

I would block him then because it prevents any meetings from turning into any kind of soul-searching type conversations by text.

@Freeda3 I think its a completely normal reaction. Try not to beat yourself up. I am trying to just focus on the fact that I was doing really well, the pain had mostly gone and I was a peace with the split - I am holding onto that happening again sooner rather than later. I am sure you will settle again too.

I havent the heart to block him. Not because I hold out any hope of him messaging me, I could text him now and he would get back in a heart beat but in case of emergency or maybe I am making excuses for some reason. Breakups are HARD!

I’m dreading this tbh. Like a PP, I met up with him a few months after we split. Ended up sleeping together, I thought that meant we were back on. He had other ideas. I had to go through the heartbreak all over again.

Whatever you do, don’t fall back into anything if he contacts you!!

I feel like - if nothing else - the callous way he treated me has put an end to any wishes I had to get back together. But it set me back a long way. Finally feel like I’d be ok if I saw him out and about now, but only if he’s alone/with his DC. If he’s with another woman I don’t know how I’ll cope. I’m dating a bit at the moment though. So hopefully I’ll be with the ten years younger and super hot guy I’m meeting up with for drinks soon!

Totally normal to be shaken by this. You wouldn’t be human if not. But try to let yourself go back to being ok without him. You deserve someone who truly loves you.

I now know why absolute NO CONTACT is the only way forward. I remember reading your thread before and hope you are doing better. I can hand on heart say I have never felt so low and cut up in my life. I am so so empty.

Sorry that was to @SteveHarringtonsChestHair

I walked past my ex the other day. Hadn't seen or spoken to him in over 6 months. He vaguely smiled at me but I felt completely shocked and didn't know how to react, so I kept walking but had the total racing heart too as you described.

It shook me and I felt very upset again for about a week afterwards. It happens though, and we just keep moving forward.

Thank you @Allicando - it’s an excruciating pain isn’t it. I have also been at my lowest ever, but finally now feeling brighter. Have been on some nice dates and have new business ideas in the pipeline. Now nearly 9 months since the split and 3 months since the accidental shag and I can confidently say I’m ok. Hope you get there soon too

but in case of emergency

What kind of emergency might that be?
If he dies, someone else will phone you. Ditto if he becomes seriously ill.

I didn't block my ex at first for reasons excuses like this. But after I ended up sleeping with him a few times and not being able to break away from him and heal, the only option was to block him everywhere.

met mine after 4 months shagged him felt shit, changed my number so he couldn’t contact me. this was before you could block folks as now I would in a hear beat.

another ex screamed at me after not seeing me for about a month Dullard you fat bitch, that put paid to any feelings I had after that. Another month goes by I’m living my single life and he sees me in our village to ask me to go back out with him. Eh like hell do I. He then said it was only to fuck anyways no biggie. both very young at the time.

I’d block personally and think of the reasons you split in the first place.

Totally normal reaction.

Seeing him caused an adrenaline rush because it was a shock and associated with an unhappy time so you effectively experienced a fight or flight response.

That's why your heart was racing. It was your body's way of protecting you from further hurt basically.

To clarify, it was your body's way of telling you to get away from him.

I know it'll pass... haven't been sleeping well since then either.