LONG POST!! Friend in need.

[198497sunshine]

Need some clarity for a friend, my thoughts are his family should be more annoyed with his ex for breaking up his marriage than his now Gf… Anyone with any diff views pls?

Man is with his gf 11 years and gets married, wife becomes pregnant. It comes to light man has been cheating for 5 months and said girl knows he is married and his wife is pregnant but clearly doesn’t care. Wife finds out, aborts baby at 5 months privately (prob cus she doesn’t want to be a single mum) gets a divorce from him.

Man continues relationship with girl he cheated with, very quickly they decide to have a child - his family welcome her with open arms regardless of her being the reason his marriage failed and his child got aborted. They help her with everything, interfere in every part of they’re relationship and everything to do with the baby. They love his new gf.

Fast forward 3 years man meets girl in work whilst being a dad to an 18 month old and still being with said girl. Tells girl from work his relationship is basically done, there has been no real relationship between him and said girl as such for almost 18 months, they have separate rooms etc and makes girl from work basically pity him.

Very slowly starts chasing girl from work more and more starts intimate relationship with her.

After a year someone from work messaged his babies mum and told her about him having an intimate relationship with girl from work, his gf confronts him he admits it.

Girl from work felt guilty messaged said girl and she backs up what he’s said things not been right between them for a very long time etc… said girl didn’t seem upset, surprised or bothered etc said no bad feelings to girl from work very odd response.

Man and Gf both decide to split and she was to move out, they told his family and she made herself out to be hard done by, screwed over etc (fair enough). His family then decide to turn on girl from work calling her a home wrecker etc spouting nasty things, sending her vile messages, telling him he should’nt be with her. Just before said girl moves out man finds 1 year anniversary card and abortion paperwork, confronts her as obv it isn’t his child as they had no intimate relationship. She refused to admit that she was infact seeing someone else before he even met girl in work because of timings and date on Card but did admit to having a one night stand and abortion with said guy.

She moves out continues making his family pity her even tho she’s then got into a relationship with the guy she claimed to not be with, they all rally round her spend lots of time with her in her new home shun they’re own son, brother whilst being extremely rude to girl from work who he is now in a relationship with.

Fast forward 3 years his family still rally round and pity his ex and totally shun his now gf and are still rude to her…

What’s the thoughts? Who should his family be more annoyed with?

Which one are you? I've read it so I feel like I deserve to know.

They like her more than you

1 year Anniversary card and abortion paperwork?

That was a handy find if there was one.

Only natural they would have a bond with the mother of their gc. Their son needs to keep it in his pants and if you are gf from work I'd be expecting him to cheat on you soon, so his parents probably don't think it's worth getting to know you too well

@Butterdishtea Neither. I have 0 involvement just posting on behalf of a mate.

@RedHelenB My opinon is very similar to yours.

They’re all massively dysfunctional and unpleasant ripple and the ooor children have no hope

Well the man of this piece sounds delightful......
His family clearly don't want to cut ties with their grandchild. It happens so often, especially when the parents aren't married etc.
It is extremely dysfunctional, I feel very sorry for child.
I have no sympathy for anyone who knowingly gets in a relationship with a married/in a relationship person, despite what that person tells you.
If your friend is the newest gf I would gently suggest some self esteem counselling to work out how she ended up in this relationship 🤷🏻‍♀️
He must have a golden cock to be leaving this much wreckage in his wake.....

I can't follow who did what to who, but generally sounds like a sordid mess, that any woman would be well out of.

Man involved sounds like a prick

“girl from work” - who I assume is either you or your friend, knowingly got involved with a married man, so not sure what the complaint is. They are never going to like her.

I’m guessing that the grandparents etc, keep a decent relationship with the ex as they want too see the child - why should they miss our because “the man” can’t keep it in his pants ?

So he’s cheated twice. First time family side with new pregnant girlfriend and shun wife who had to abort due to being left. Second time they still side with this girl even though she had an affair and got pregnant from the affair so although ds shouldn’t have had an affair, it sounds as if he told new gf the truth when he said he had problems at home.

serial adulter ds should keep it in his pants and finish relationships first before having new ones.

Middle gf who family love sounds a right piece of work, but has a grandchild that the family won’t want to lose.

New gf sounds as more innocent but still shouldn’t have had an affair with someone in a relationship.

No one except first wife comes across as good but middle woman, mother of the gc, comes out worse from the other two women. Bloke is a shitbag.

Sorry guys the ex he has a child with is the one who got with him while he was married.
my friend who’s now with him got with him as he said his relationship was basically over after him and his ex had a child.

@Neverendingmindfuck Totally agree and told her so. I do pity the child.
@Blindsblindsblinds I agree.

So which friend is in need?

X post.

She should steer well clear.

His relationship wasn’t “over” when they had a child, it was “over” when he decided to sleep with your friend …. And if she gets pregnant, he’ll do the same thing all over again …

@Sswhinesthebest

you’ve got it.

I have told my friend to walk away hundreds of times as she’s now caught up in such a dysfunctional situation. She is just upset that she gets treated so badly when in essence his ex is worse I guess. My friend took pity on him and that’s how she ended up involved basically.

@ExtraOnion I agree. Although when I’ve spoken directly to him about how upset my BF is he says he knows his behaviour has been awful and wants to be a better role model for his son now as his DS is now 6.

we will see. So horrible to watch.