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Relationships

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Original poster

Husband can only have sex every other day - is this normal?

46 replies

GotMyMojoBack · 30/08/2022 22:02

My husband struggles to have sex more than every other day. As in, finds it hard to get or keep an erection if we have sex more often than this. I do get that that’s quite frequent to be having sex anyway so I’m not complaining but for some reason, in recent months, at certain points of the month im so horny and really want to do it every day! He’s not complaining about this haha but we have always taken it for what it is that he’s better when we only do it every two days. Just wondered if this was normal? I’ve not had a lot of partners before (apart from one who could have done it 3 times a day if I’d let him lol) so wasn’t sure if this was common. Thanks.

OP posts:

Berlinlover · 31/08/2022 01:18

My partner is 67 and it’s every second day with us.

Geogaddi · 31/08/2022 09:27

Hey @GotMyMojoBack oh no that's totally fine! You give me hope, that's actually quite amazing that you got your mojo back (just this second seen your name haha, i'm so slow sometimes.) I'm 42, as well but no kids. My libido is the most healthy it's ever been but it is still pretty barron compared to a lot of other people (cue dust ball moving across a desert.) I think mine is effected massively by my anxiety but that's for another thread. Enjoy your new found drive! :)

Davy009 · 31/08/2022 18:48

I think for some people there's 2 parts to it, there's the physical need for release, certainly the case of me as a guy, that a good bit of self love sorts out, but also the emotional side of it, where you need a partner, but I guess that can at least partly be satisfied without actual sex. 1st step is to be open about it and it not become a source of frustration and resentment, as with most things best to talk about it, and both parties accept that there is difference in needs.

Dery · 31/08/2022 18:58

My libido has never been particularly high but has increased as I’ve gone through my 40s and early 50s 😀

JenGin · 31/08/2022 20:43

Sorry but can you just clarify something? Are you saying he physically can't get hard or he's just feeling a bit tired and not in the mood? Because if you're...you know...playing with it and he's still not getting an erection because he had sex the previous day that would be very uncommon at his age and perhaps even be something medical?

Either that or he's having a lot of wanks which you don't know about?

Ohahjustalittlebit · 31/08/2022 21:01

My libido hit the roof in my 40's. I dont even recall wanting sex so much as having to have it in my 30's. Maybe it is hormonal.

Chichz · 31/08/2022 21:09

I wonder if it's a pre-menopausal thing, you know the way a lot of people's cycles become shorter in their 40s to try get that last pregnancy?! (Sorry, hope I'm not offending!!)

I hope this happens to me too. Really not interested most of the month since having my son! X

HoneyIShrunkThePizza · 01/09/2022 07:12

Is he healthy/a healthy weight? Since 25 sounds unusual to me!

My DH, who is 31 and I've been with 9 years, would now struggle to have sex twice in a row but is fine after an hour or two. But he does really look after himself.

KangarooKenny · 01/09/2022 08:01

Sounds like you’re having the pre menopause sex surge. Perhaps he’s got performance anxiety as you’re wanting it so much.

Anothernick · 01/09/2022 08:15

I would certainly be concerned if I was unable to perform for two days after I had DTD. One of the odd things about desire seems to be that I am more likely to be horny in the morning if I have DTD the night before - this seems counterintuitive but I have heard other men say the same.

But if he has always been like this and is otherwise healthy and there are no other issues - such as excessive masturbation - then this is probably nothing to worry about.

adriftabroad · 01/09/2022 08:26

It is typical for your age. It is the start of perimenopause. In 5 years your libido will fall off a cliff.

PacificOcean · 01/09/2022 08:27

I think this is normal OP.

Pluvia · 01/09/2022 08:38

OP, sounds as if he's just exhausted, tbh. Small kids, no sleep, stressy job. I did wonder if he's worried about you getting pregnant again. Sounds as if you're both stretched to your limits.

Original poster

GotMyMojoBack · 02/09/2022 13:04

@JenGin thanks for your thoughts. It’s more than he can get an erection but finds it hard to keep it or reach climax if we’re having sex daily. It’s not a problem if we don’t do it so frequently. He has always been this way. It’s never been a problem as I’ve never been in to sex at all til now so wouldn’t have wanted to do it daily. In fact it’s not a problem for us now! I just wondered if this was quite normal or not. Seems to be mixed opinion on here if it is normal. It’s not like im a sex maniac lol! it would be nice to do it as often as either of us wanted, but if every other day is best for him, then it’s best for both of us, just didn’t want there to be anything wrong.

OP posts:

Meseekslookatme · 02/09/2022 13:06

If he's willing, but unable he ends to see a doctor.
My partner is 10 years older and can go many times a day.

Original poster

GotMyMojoBack · 02/09/2022 13:11

@mindutopia thanks for your comments. I’m not demanding or pestering him at all. We have a really lovely respectful relationship and the fact that I’ve gone to being not that into sex to really wanting to have sex with him and be really into it, he’s really happy about! It’s actually done wonders for our relationship. I’ve never experienced being so horny all the time like this and so only now feel like o want to have sex with him so often and he loves this just can perform better when it’s every other day. He is v good at giving me whatever I need even if he can’t have actual sex with me if you get me! I just wondered if most men are like this or if it was an issue medically he cant easily get or keep an erection on a daily basis, that’s all! Defo no pestering or demanding!! It’s all very loving and respectful. And makes me feel very humble and impressed that he never ever pressured me into having sex when he knew I didn’t really want it that much, must have been difficult for him.

OP posts:

NightmareSlashDelightful · 02/09/2022 13:12

Men vary, just like women. What's normal for him is normal for him.

And as you discovered, some men will be up for it three times a day, others every other day, others still once a week or less.

It's not a terribly helpful stereotype that men are constantly ready for sex, because it isn't (always) accurate.

Original poster

GotMyMojoBack · 02/09/2022 13:13

I have a really mixed bag of responses here. Some say he should be able to do it every day (bar the obvious being stressed, tired etc) and some say that that’s normal for them/their partner. Am I going with it’s probably normal - we can do it every other day and we have two children and don’t want any more, so no prob really? Thanks for all your responses.

OP posts:

Original poster

GotMyMojoBack · 02/09/2022 13:15

@NightmareSlashDelightful this is exactly the conclusion I think I have come to myself. Thanks, very helpful to confirm what I think I have got from the answers on this thread.

OP posts:

Hotman4u · 03/09/2022 23:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

malificent7 · 04/09/2022 09:23

Bloody hell op....he needs time to recover between shags!

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