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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Biding time

1 reply

BunnyLily · 30/08/2022 21:18

Im so so confused- it’s a period in my life when I haven’t got a clue which direction im
heading.
Husband was caught messaging prostitutes again - been together 12yrs and have caught him 4 times.
He is a very stressy, loud person and this has reflected in the past with him shouting and blowing up at the kids.
We had counselling- I really felt we had turned a corner then I found an old message and after believing there wasn’t any more we went backwards again.
He says it’s just a glorified wank instead of looking at porn - he says he never visited them but I am really finding it hard to believe him.
Its really strange - he’s adduced to his phone, playing games. He smokes. But on the other side he hugs us, tells us he loves us daily. And since the last episode he is trying 110 percent to change his ways. He’s started helping more, he has calmed down, he has said he will do anything to change his ways. He said he will see doctor, go to counselling. Honestly he’s been brilliant.
He said he was heartbroken 💔 and he has been crying. I know he loves us and the family. But I know it’s so wrong what he’s been doing.
I love it here - friends and family local, good schools, kids happy. If we were to split it will be a massive explosion in our lives.
It got to a point where we were seeing a solicitor and talking about divorce.
Im taking things slowly. Waiting to see if this new changed man can last.
Just wondering your thoughts about it all please?

OP posts:
Agadoodoododont · 30/08/2022 21:40

But on the other side he hugs us, tells us he loves us daily. And since the last episode he is trying 110 percent to change his ways. He’s started helping more, he has calmed down, he has said he will do anything to change his ways. He said he will see doctor, go to counselling. Honestly he’s been brilliant.

I think you need to raise your standards. He’s supposed to “help” aka do his fair share, and hug you all and say he loves you because he does —- not because he’s been caught out.
Sadly as this is the 4th time you’ve caught him out, not counting all the times you haven’t of course, he’ll do it again and again. And anything else he wants as there are no consequences. You can do better.

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