How long do I wait

[Hollyjack]

At what point do you call it off with someone when it’s clear u both want different things. For example I want to live together and he doesn’t. Says he’s not ready but I’m not sure if he ever will be so how long do I wait

You don’t. End it now, don’t waste any more time x

What PP said- finish it now, don't waste your time. x

How long is a reasonable time to be with someone before moving in together though. We’ve been together 2 years I’m 38 and he’s 43 does this sound reasonable or aibu x

YANBU. Do you know why he doesn’t want to live together? It doesn’t really matter I’m just be

Sorry. It doesn’t really matter. He’s not giving you what you want, might not ever. So move on, you won’t meet your lobster while you’re with him.

Sounds like you need to bin him off. He’s keeping you dangling.

its hard to say with so little info, have you talked about time frames? There is no right or wrong answer, every relationship is different. You just have to do what feels right for you, while remembering that time is precious.

If he doesn't want to progress the relationship, and you do, then it's probably time to call it quits.

Are there any pressing concerns, like wanting children/more children? Because I'd definitely boot sooner than later if so.

You don’t wait, why would you waste the time? If he wanted to he would be doing it, he doesn’t want to. Simple as that really.

After two years, I would think he'd know by now, at least if it wasn't the moment now but to be open and wanting to plan for the future of moving in together, if he doesn't enjoy this topic of conversation then you are wasting your time hoping.

You say "for example" and list the living situation. If it was just that, I'd talk it through with him and make sure that he does intend to move in with you in the near future, with some certainty.

But I'm guessing that's not the only issue?

If your future plans and values don't align, you're wasting your time. Moreover, he's wasting your time.