About eight years ago, I did a grad scheme with a big multi-national company. As part of this programme, I got to spent 6 months in one of the company's other offices. I was placed in a non-Western country where I didn't speak a word of the language. There were 10 others with me on this placement, from a variety of countries. What we had in common was that we all worked for the same company, spoke English, and were of similar ages.
At first, we all got on really well. We socialized every day outside of work, which was a godsend given that I couldn't speak the local language. However, slowly one person in the group (let's call him Rob) started becoming more and more domineering. For example, there was a bar that he didn't like, so he told us all that none of us were allowed to go there now. At work, Rob took the role of group leader, a responsibility that he took really seriously even though it was a minor role that just required him to e-mail our project manager with a weekly update.
About a month into the placement, Rob started making comments that I considered misogynistic and racist. I guess it's important to add here that Rob and myself are from very different countries and cultures, so his comments may not have been hugely offensive to him. At first, I didn't say anything, but then these comments became much more frequent and personal. He was paticulary nasty to the most timid woman in the group and would refer to her as every name under the sun and then laugh as she got upset.
Soon after, Rob turned on me. He sent me a tirade of written abuse about my home country, sex, appearance, and so on. I replied saying that it would be best if we no longer socialised as clearly our ethics were quite different.
After this, Rob started a witch-hunt against me. He told the rest of the group not to contact me/ socialize with me etc, which most of them complied with. At work, he wouldn't let me have my name on the important parts of the project, and he made sure I was given the most boring tasks to do.
I thought that the group would soon realise what he was doing, but they didn't. Rob love-bombed the men in the group and made it clear to the other women that they'd be bullied like me if they said anything.
Anyway, I disengaged from the group and spent my last few months of the placement just doing my own thing. Rob continued to harass me verbally. I just ignored him.
Fast forward eight years, and I no longer work for this company. I was contacted last week by one of the other women. She said that the group had recently had a virtual reunion. I hadn't been invited, but she said that she'd been thinking about me, and wondered how I was now doing. I haven't replied as I don't want any of these people in my life.
My life has turned out nicely. I have a lovely fiance, step son, job, and house. However, I do still hold some anger towards how I was treated. How can I get passed this?