Am I taking advantage?

[Undecidedandtorn]

I met this guy on bumble a few weeks ago. He's very nice and we get on well - lots of messages in between dates. He stayed over for the first time on Saturday and while he was here he fixed a few things and helped me with a few DIY things - to say thanks I cooked him his favourite meal.

I mentioned to him about something I want to do in garden and he said he could do it no problem. Honestly it's not something I could do myself and would save me about £100. But I feel guilty. This is the first person I've gone on dates with for two years and we are not rushing into anything and he seems to be the sort of guy that helps out relatives and friends. Am I being foolish to feel bad about him doing stuff. It seems to take him minutes (he used to be a builder) and he offers - not me asking.

Maybe say to him you feel a bit guilty not paying him so you'd like to buy him a bottle of his favourite drink, or treat him to a nice meal at yours again, no point spending loads as you might as well pay someone but a treat to say thanks is good I think.

Also, he wouldn't offer if he didn't want to do it.

He sounds fab!! You also sound very nice for worrying about it - honestly I'd offer to make him a nice meal with a bottle (if you both drink!) etc. If he's offering he's clearly happy to help 😊

I agree I think he wants to do it. Men don’t do things they don’t want to do. But a nice dinner to repay him would be fine! How lovely!

I'd have a conversation about it. That you want to do something and see what would be a treat for him.

I'd always genuinely ask what someone would prefer

He sounds like a keeper tbh.

Sounds great to me!

I did do wine, dinner and movie snacks last time but knowing what I'd have to pay someone it didn't feel enough. But your right - he's offered. Im not used to men wanting to do nice helpful stuff for me!

Given that everyone says dinner and drinks sounds like a reasonable swap I'll do the same next time. Thanks everyone!

I assume he's offering to do all these things because he likes you, and probably hopes you like him too. And if you do like him back, then I don't see any problem with this.

Just cook a nice meal for him or take him out for a fancy dinner.

He sounds wonderful.
It's really hard for two strangers to build connections and I guess that's what he's trying to do.
I agree, cook him a nice meal or treat him to a meal out or a lovely bottle of something to say thanks and show him you appreciate his time helping you and it's give and take.
I think manly men like to feel manly and help out - honestly I wish there were more guys like him, not only looking for what they can get out of us women all the time!

My XH was like this. As our relationship developed it turned out that was his way of showing his love. He wasn’t much one for hearts and flowers but my car was always well maintained and anything I needed fixing was done before I even noticed. Our marriage didn’t work out, but this was one of my favourite things and I really miss it. I can’t speak for your chap, but mine would have felt snubbed if I’d rejected his efforts.

Oh, and to add…. if I baked him a cake to say thanks, he thought all his Christmases had come at once 🤣

Yep, its all good.

Mine has transformed my garden from a wild, wilderness into, well, a garden!

It would only be taking advantage if you had zero interest in him but were keeping him around to do these things for you.