introducing chikd to partner

[krkw]

How long would/did you wait?

I have a relative who's child is now an adult. She finally stopped introducing after about 12 different new partners. Each one was the one. Each time she fell hard in love. She thought it was forever. She waited between 6 weeks and a year for each one.

So think about how many partners you might have after this one.

Sometimes it's hard to find the one and you have to think about how many you want your kids to meet!!

Over 6 months for me but I have no desire to live with a partner again nor get married. I know my opinion is very unpopular though.

@dressupinyou

So as a single parent dating you should always assume someone is trying to fill a void or is a paedophile?
That's nonsense. They could still be those things after a year.

When someone is keen to play happy families very quickly or spend time alone with your kids, obviously that's a massive red flag but just including them in the picture, I'd say that's a positive.

Meeting up in a park or somewhere similar won't damage kids anymore than meeting a new friend for a play date.

I didn't say that, I think I was saying the same as you really. If someone wants to meet too quickly, it can be a concern.
There was a thread a couple of days ago where a woman had known this child for 9 months, was completely inserted in the child's life and was telling the child they loved them. That is clearly more about the adult than the child.

I don't see the issue with being cautious and getting to know someone before dragging your kid into it.

A close relative of mine has had 5 relationships in 4 years. 3 of those have been abusive arseholes and 2 didn't last long. The kids met all of them but shouldn't have because within 6 months they'd shown who they were. Could have saved those poor kids a lot of confusion and upset by just meeting up when the girls were at dads or grandparents as they were often.

But she didn't say anything about moving in together!

I think 6 months. However, there are certain situations where its ok to have them around as 'mums friend'. For example, I was seeing my best friends step brother who my children had already met at parties etc. So stopping him from being around the dc just because we were seeing each other would have been weird! I'm currently seeing someone who I have been friends with for years, no issues him seeing the dc as hes met them many times already over the years. We just maintain the friends vibe.

OLD however or someone you met and have no prior connection to, 6 months so you can see who they really are.

l always kept things seperate and no regrets, never felt the need to introduce anyone. l have watertight boundaries after working at the CPS for 13 years l lost count of how many young children had to give video evidence in court due to parents poor choices. l was so naieve before taking that job, it really opened my eyes.

I'm surprised at the responses here. Usually on Mumsnet you get wait 2 years as a minimum.

3-6 months I think. There is no point wasting yours or their time if the chemistry isn't right and it's not going to go anywhere.

The next morning.