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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Need a hand hold

6 replies

Bluemoon22 · 30/08/2022 10:51

So i plucked up the courage to tell my partners family about the abuse towards me from him before i report him to the police. Anyway, his sister has hit the roof about it all and has reported him to the police herself. The police are meant to be ringing me today at some point about it. I'm scared, nervous and feel alone. Not sure i've done the right thing anymore what if it just makes it worse.

OP posts:
Dery · 30/08/2022 10:56

OP - you have done the right thing.

But are you still trying to share a house with this man? That’s not really feasible. At the very least, if you can’t get away now, do you have a friend or relative who can move in with you?

Dery · 30/08/2022 10:56

Also - it’s great that his family is supporting you in this.

Original poster
Bluemoon22 · 30/08/2022 11:18

@Dery yeah we are still in the same house. The house is in his name but i do have money in it. I did ask him to leave the house while its sold so our son can have a stable home for now but he refused. He also won't remortgage it and give me my share so i can use the money to move out. So i'm stuck here living in this nightmare. My family can't help me and my dad has even told me he doesn't wana know anymore. Cos all stress isn't fair on him or his partner. Both my parents think i'm being over dramatic calling it abuse and i should just stay and be civil for our sons sake

OP posts:
Dery · 30/08/2022 11:42

Sorry your parents have let you down so badly. They sound very selfish. You can force a sale of the house if need be. You would need legal proceedings so best avoided if it can be but it is a possibility.

The police may be able to impose bail conditions and/or obtain a Domestic Violence Protection Order requiring him to keep away from the property for 28 days or so (if you’re in England).

Are you able to go to a refuge in the meantime if it becomes necessary?

YoSofi · 30/08/2022 11:49

The police will remove him and there are steps you can take to stay in the house or force a sale - are you married?

You’re doing the right thing x

Original poster
Bluemoon22 · 30/08/2022 13:24

I could go to a refuge but i really don't want to as my son starts school next week so really don't want to upset him. No we aren't married but have lived together for 5 years

OP posts:
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