Dating again

[SpinningFloppa]

Is anyone scared to meet someone again? I’ve been single for 5 years since breaking up with my children’s father (he Actually broke up with me) I haven’t dated or met anyone at all in this time not because I haven’t moved on I don’t want to be with him but because the thought of meeting someone new really scares me! 5 Years is such a long time and I know people will say they’ve been single 20+ years but irl I don’t actually know anyone whose stayed single for 5+ years so I feel like the odd one out, everyone I know took maybe a year out tops. Are some people just never ready to date again? How do some people move on so quick?

Yes I've been single for 6 years now and feel similar. You don't say how old you are, I'm in my 50s but if you're younger you might feel more pressure to date. Having said that, I have an older friend who's dated non-stop the whole time I've known her and recently got married again. And my DD has 2 friends whose parents have split up after we did, and all 4 parents already have new partners, including some that have moved in and one engagement.

I just can't imagine it, actually meeting a man who doesn't turn out to be an annoying twat in some way, who actually wants to be with me, then actually having sex, etc it all seems ridiculous. Luckily for me I like being single, but also I hadn't thought that would be it for ever, but at the same time I'm reluctant to even try. I did sign up to some dating agencies initially and got as far as chatting to one bloke and just felt too silly and embarrassed to go any further.

How some people move on so quick, I do not know! I think some maybe just can't bear to be single so they prioritise finding a partner?

I wouldn't mind dating again at some point but as for a relationship, it's not working for me, husband dumped me after 18 years, tried a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man. Actually the longer I'm single, the less I miss of having the stress of a relationship.
I guess if you really wanted to then you would look or keep dating, that's how people move on quickly, however it's a risk, is it worth it and how much to do really want to.
I've stopped caring about what others do, or think of me, just being happy and in control of my life is enough.

I just can't imagine it, actually meeting a man who doesn't turn out to be an annoying twat in some way, who actually wants to be with me, then actually having sex, etc it all seems ridiculous.

@BlossomsOnATree I feel exactly the same. I’ve recently been on a few dates with someone who I like but it’s as if I’m in freeze mode. I can’t imagine doing relationship-y things or having sex, or him not turning out to be a twat. I just clam up and want to run away. In my case it’s the legacy of several abusive relationships.

I don’t know what the right answer is but personally I’ve decided to be up front about my anxiety and the need to take things very slowly. If they don’t like it then they aren’t the right person for me.

I'm only 5 months single but was with my abusive ex for 17 years, he's been my only partner. I've no idea how to even start with someone new. I've been messed up emotionally and financially. I've a child, a job, family and friends but I feel like somethings missing. Maybe I should try getting another dog? 🤔 Seriously though, I was advised to work on being happy with myself before looking for a relationship but I'm not quite there yet. When I am I'll probably have to add a post on here asking, we'll, what do I do?

I’ve been single since I was 28 I’m now 33 I definitely don’t want to be single for the rest of my life I just don’t know where to begin with meeting someone again, the thought of starting all over again seems scary, all the horror stories I hear, the thought of OLD makes me feel sick but no opportunities to meet anyone irl.

I'm 5 years single this Christmas but after an abusive relationship it took me a while to even consider letting another man into my life.

I feel ready but for me it's not so much it scares me but I can't be bothered to go on apps so am limited as to where I can meet someone as when I go out it's usually for a meal and when I'm at the gym I'm there to work out. I think I need to mix up my nights out a bit.

I stayed single for 9 years, basically my whole 40s. My ex left when I was 9 weeks pregnant with our second child and rarely ever contacted me again. What with having a newborn and a 7 year old, breastfeeding, a full time career and no support or money, I couldn’t face it. My other single friends started dating almost immediately and were very proactive about finding the right person for them. I say get out and have fun if you can. Keep your standards really high and any new man separate from your children. I find it amazing how quickly some people move on but I wouldn’t recommend being alone for that long, my self esteem was absolutely wrecked! I’m proud of my independence but it can be exhausting!

Hi Op @SpinningFloppa yes me

I'm also a solo mum by choice and had my son using a sperm donor so now more than any other time in my life, I'm really careful and considerate in terms of future dating/relationships. I cannot envisage how I could ever trust anyone around my son.

I'm 40 and prior to having my son, have spent the last two decades dating, having long term partners, living with some of them, even getting married, but now the thought of it all just seems ridiculous as one posters described it @BlossomsOnATree

I think about when my son doesn't need me anymore I'll be in my mid 50s, will I regret not having tried now ? Will it be too late to accommodate someone else in my life?