Abuse on dating site

[IrishladyNE]

I am 43 and single, split from my child’s father 7 years ago she is now 8. Been so busy with work and my child that I have not had the change to meet anyone and I was ok with it.

My daughter likes to spend time at her dads as she has a little sister there to play with and I understand that so we don’t have a strict coparenting situation we are both quite flexible.

I thought now would be a good time to try online dating and what a horrible experience. Been speaking to someone over a
couple of weeks and he seemed nice. Anyway he decided he wanted to meet this weekend and I couldn’t my daughter is with me. He went on a tirade of abuse calling me a fat, ugly c*nt and wasn’t interested anyways. Omg i really wasn’t expecting that so shocked. I know I’m not ugly and I’m a size 10 not exactly fat. Is this normal? Will stay happily single after that.

Dodged a bullet I should think.

Wow. No, not normal. Which dating site is it? I think most have a report abuse function.

I know I definitely did I’m so pleased I had my daughter this wkd so I got to see this reaction. It just seemed so nasty and aggressive I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced it.

it was bumble, I did report him and then I deleted. It really stung to be hit with that after quite nice conversations.

Nope. Not usual. People on OLD are just regular people. Some of them are lunatics, lots of them are extremely boring, a handful are delightful. You, unfortunately, got a lunatic. Hopefully you reported and unmatched immediately? Then I’d honestly put it completely out of your mind.

Don’t be ‘really stung’ by nonsense random men say to you when they don’t get what they want. This person doesn’t know you and clearly thought you were attractive until you didn’t immediately cater to him. Why would you take that as an indictment of you, not him?

As nasty as it is you've had a lucky escape. I pity any woman who does get involved with him he sounds psychotic.

Yes I have deleted the app completely. I’ve been single for a while and I’m happy with how things just thought I’d give it a go. He was the only person I spoke to and I clearly picked an absolute horror.

I pity younger women I’ve got quite thick skin and he made me feel sick to my stomach.

I understand what you are saying. He’s obviously a really unpleasant person. It’s not even being called ugly or fat it was the c*nt part.

Most younger women are pretty used to apps, so would have deleted him and forgotten about it instantly, tbh. I can’t imagine an OLD conversation upsetting me, particularly not to the extent I was sick to my stomach. And I met my husband on OLD, for reference.

I’m sorry you had to deal with that as your very first conversation, but deleting the app because of one unpleasant interaction seems excessive.

The internet is just the humans, online. So there are all sorts. I see it like driving next to someone really normal looking who isn't doing anything weird, who then cuts you up and starts shouting at you with a fit of the road rage. Add in that behind a keyboard people feel anonymous so their inhibitions are less and the weirdness, when it happens, is dialled right up.

Put it down to a weirdo, don't let it stop you. They are out there for sure, but they are in the minority. You sound like you're got your head well screwed on, so you'll see them coming!

It wasn’t just that. I got quite a few sexual messages before, maybe just need to try a different app. I wasn’t a fan of bumble

Thanks, yeah I will try a different site don’t think that one was for me.

You might get sexual messages on any app. Do not engage, block them and continue to go about your business. They are unimportant white noise and nothing to do with you or what you’re there for, so don’t let it intrude on your consciousness.

This happened so many times to me on dating apps. Really nasty messages or unwanted sexual comments.

Also one man who was charming at the beginning only to turn totally abusive after I had been dating him for a few weeks.

I will never use online dating again because it does not feel safe to me.

In the end these men are complete strangers and some of them are very clever at lying on their profile, putting on a charming act for a little while and then revealing their true self when they don't get what they want or they think you are ''hooked''.

Thanks for all your replies to put it into perspective I took it too personal. Yes, he was just a random lunar tic. I’m just going to forget it.

He seemed quite nice, he looked really nice with his life together. Clearly none of those things just an abusive sh*t bag.

Best of luck on your OLD adventures! Hopefully you meet someone lovely. 💗

Lucky escape - and you hadn’t even bought a new frock first!

Haha and saved me in taxi fares.

I don't think it's specific to any particular app, they pop up all over the place! I know lots of people who are happily coupled due to online dating, so don't let this put you off if you fancy giving it a go.