Coping until relationship can be ended

[12stopsandhome]

Im a regular here but nc.

DP and I are mid 50s with a DS14. I want to end the relationship due to DP’s online cheating, lack of intimacy. I would like to get through ideally until DS has done GCSEs and I am more financially stable. Otherwise I will feel Im putting my mental health before my sons. I know this is a tall order. Anyone have any advice on how to handle this situation? I just want whats best for my son but worry given his sensitive age, and would really appreciate the advice. Thanks

Plenty of people are staying until the timing is better, so you’re not alone. But if he chooses A levels will you feel the need to stay while he does those ?
Tnere will never really be a best time.

If you have to stay then just detach from him. Let him carry on doing what he does and you do your thing. Ideally find a reason to sleep in a separate room and don’t have sex ever with him.

Hello all,

Feeling really lost at the moment. Been in a relationship for over 15 years. About 9 years ago we started to have issues. I found out that my partner had taken another woman out for lunch one day and when I asked him he repeatedly denied it. He only admitted it several days later when he realised he couldn’t lie his way out of it. I also found messages on his phone telling the lady who cuts his hair that he couldn’t see her anymore as he was attracted to her. We had many rows about this and he never really apologised just turned it round and said I was over reacting and there was nothing to any of it. Over the years I feel our relationship has become non existent. He barely spends quality time with me i.e goes on a date but then expects sex when he wants and makes me feel pressured when I don’t want too. He lets his family make nasty remarks about mine and rarely defends me. Fast forward to present day and we now have a five year old in the mix. He gives me barely enough money to cover food and my bills but I can’t work for myself as he’s tied me up in his business. I struggle to let go of past issues and things he does now make me Mistrust him. He has a lock on his phone and always places it upside down so messages can’t be seen. We went out to see a theatre show last week and he spent the entire time commenting on how gorgeous one of the cast was. Then when everyone got up dancing he was giving her the eye and she reciprocated by winking at him. I realise this may sound petty but it just makes me feel disrespected and I feel like I want out but worry about my 5 year old. Any advise would really help 🥹

@chickad start your own thread?

How do I do this please?

Click on Start New Thread on the right hand side (its in blue)

I can’t see it anywhere 😩 Will I need to do that for others to give advice? Thanks 😊

Are you using a phone or a PC?.

There's a big blue "Start new thread" button at the top right of the page, on my machine.

I'm on a phone using the app 😊

Thanks everyone I think I've figured it out 👍🏻

@KangarooKenny @Malad Thank you both. Yes I am detaching emotionally and starting to think of myself as single again.