My SO (M40) has been working away recently and so I have had both our children on my own for an extended period of time. This is no problem, as I often enjoy the time to myself, but I was looking forward to this bank holiday weekend so we could spend some time together as a family.
However on the Saturday my SO went to take our two year old for a walk to get him down for a nap when I received a call from him to come and get the baby as the neighbours were having an altercation (two 60+yr old couples arguing over access to a water tap 🤦🏼♀️)
I rushed out and took the baby back indoors and left my SO outside. After initially stepping in and preventing a full blown fight, he spent the rest of the day going back and forth between their houses mediating the situation. I took both our children out for the afternoon by myself.
On the Sunday (today) he was still speaking at length with both neighbours by text message. While I am proud of him for initially stepping in to stop the fight becoming more violent, I commented that he didn't need to be so involved, and I explained that I was worried that he was greeting drawn in too deep to their issues. He disagreed and said he had no choice, and that he was at the right place at the right time for a reason so wanted to continue to help. I thought fair enough and left it.
However, later in the afternoon one of the women came over to our house and was talking in our kitchen for ages while I again was left entertaining the children by myself, and almost immediately after she left the phone rang and it was the other neighbour.
Our children at this particular moment were playing up and I got cross so asked my SO to end the call, and to come and help me but he refused.
After the call I said it would have nice if he could prioritise us (his family) over the neighbours problems. At this point rather than have the loving a supportive partner that I was hoping for I was told off, and was asked what exactly did I want him to do at that very moment that he was on the phone. I said he is missing the point and that I just needed him in that moment and I became upset because I was shocked at his lack of understanding. Because I was crying he said that I was putting pressure on him and was guilt tripping him on purpose. Which made me more upset.
It is now Sunday night and we aren't talking. I tried to raise it with him again by explaining why I was so upset but it resulted in him shouting at me again and him telling me that I was being unsupportive of him. He reminded me that he had done the food shopping that afternoon and had cooked our tea on the bbq and that he now needs time to rest. I said that I thought we were meant to be a team and reminded him of all the chores that I had gone while he wast around today (all the laundry, hoovering, dusting). But I also explained that it wasn't about him doing jobs, it was about him not being present with us and being so distracted by the drama of the neighbours.
Am I the AH for thinking the he should prioritise us?