Arrangements for the baby - separated. Please help

[Amoasfl]

Posted in chat but no replied yet and I am so worried!
I know I need a solicitor but can’t afford one. Does anyone have the answers to this?

1. can my ex force me to notify a third party or a solicitor when I give birth?
2. can my ex force me to hand over the baby without me there when he has contact with them?
3. can my ex have the baby overnight?
4. we live 90 mins apart and he can’t drive due to a drink driving ban - will I have to travel? There’s no public transport where I live.

for clarity I want things to be amicable but he is being really difficult and I am scared about what he will expect next. He has money so can escalate.

I am worried he will say he can’t be in the same room as me as he is being v difficult. What happens then?

He can't force you to do anything.

Block him on every form of contact and communication until the baby actually arrives. Until the baby is born only you are the patient - and so he has no right to harass, make demands of you or threaten you about how he wants contact with the currently non-existent child.

1. Notify him by SMS that you had the baby when you are good and ready. If you can register the birth quickly then notify him after you have done that. (It took me 10 days to register my daughter pre-Covid) Notify him within 14 days of the birth.

2 and 3. If you are breast feeding - and I suggest you do - then he can only have the baby in between feeds. So basically about 45 minutes in the day. Then once they are over a year, so eating solid food things need to be reassessed. He can then take you to Court and get your joint child over night.

1. Nope. He will be expected to travel towards you for the 45 minutes he wants to see the baby. Simply tell him you are unable to travel. While I was out and about after 2 days going to the supermarket in a daze, lots of women take longer to recover enough to go out especially on 90 minute trips.

Hopefully someone who's been in similar situation will be here to help with more info. If your child is 100% breastFed I don't think he will have any power to make any demands & the courts will not allow a breastFed child to be removed from their mother for overnight stays.

You do actually want him to have your joint child on his own.

Regardless the fact you are posting here means you should not let him into your home. He can see the baby in a public place for the 45 minutes so park if it is warm, cafe or somewhere like MacDonalds.

Initially meet him on your doorstep ready - he can wait until you are ready - and then do any handovers on your doorstep.

If you have neighbours you get on with, especially of they are around in the day, make them aware that you aren't with him. If he's stupid enough to kick off it may not be you calling the police.

They do when they are over one.

That's why the OP needs to keep it as amicable as possible as she may then be able to delay overnight stays until their child is about 18 months.

I am so stressed

Apart from you and him separating , is he otherwise okay? (The drink driving ban doesn't bode well, but I don't know the circumstances).

@HyggeandTea he was an alcoholic. He has apparently stopped drinking now. He’s ignored me in pregnancy and latterly got in touch asking to discuss these things via a solicitor. He’s not a nice man