Partner not wanting to see things through my point of view

[Thanksforchatting]

Quick question- I have brought things up to my partner that I find difficult to live with. He just keeps saying that he doesn’t see it as a big deal. I have said maybe not to you but it is to me.. he won’t discuss or hear what I am saying.
where do I go with this? Accept it’s a big deal to me but not him and just get on with it? I feel frustrated and hurt that he won’t try and address the issues as it doesn’t affect him..

No, i mean that this is what you need to ask him when he doesn’t listen to what’s bothering you.

From what you describe it sounds like he has a problem with his hearing or possibly with auditory processing or something like that. Auditory processing could be part of ADHD I guess but ADHD would have wider impairments I would think, like he's impulsive, talks over you (interrupting), can't keep his stuff organised, starts to do something and wanders off in the middle because he remembered he had to do something else, etc.

Even if he "only" has a hearing problem, if he regularly fails to respond to your statements or questions in a way that makes sense, and won't do anything to fix it, then I can see how you'd feel isolated. Even if he's not doing it intentionally to bother you, it sounds like you are not really able to carry on effective two-way conversations or discussions. Part of a relationship would be...relating to each other. You would want to talk, be heard, etc. So if he can't or won't do those things then I don't see how you'd carry on a relationship. And if it doesn't bother him that he's not really interacting with you interpersonally because he won't carry on rational conversations that make any sense, then that would make you wonder whether he really cares about you enough for you to bother being in a relationship with him.

Why are you staying with someone who doesn’t listen to you or care about your opinions or if something bothers you?

I am a bit confused but am tired so might just be me.

If he does not care about what you say or your feelings, why stay with him. How can you build a life with someone who doesn't care what you are feeling?

If he genuinely cannot hear what you are saying, he needs to investigate what might be able to help him with that.