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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Actually... I'm starting to like being single again!

8 replies

MondaysAreFineItsYourLifeThatsShit · 28/08/2022 12:19

Absolutely massive heartbreak in 2020, spent two full years in bits. Thought I would NEVER recover. But actually... fuck it. He was up to his eyeballs in kids anyway and never made me feel that secure in the first place. I've pissed and moaned for ages about being lonely and unloved and why why why 🎻 blah blah blah. But actually... I'm starting to feel past caring. Sometimes even quite content. In the past few weeks I feel like I've shifted to a different place. When I look at all the relationships around me there aren't many of them I'd actually want to be in. Some of them are lovely yes. Some of them are okay. Some of them are absolutely terrible. Yes there are parts of being single that are difficult. It's no picnic. Christmas is sad. But also being in a relationship is hard, even the right ones. Tolerance, patience, compromise. All skills that I don't have. I own a beautiful home, it's decorated just how I want it to be. Don't want someone else leaving their shit everywhere. Live in a lovely area. Not wealthy but (touch wood) I'm doing okay financially. Got a little nest egg. I have good friends. I've got hobbies and interests. I love to get outside on the mountain bike or go for a nice long walk in the countryside. I'm about to start some voluntary work for a local charity. Hopefully I'll make some new friends there too. I starfish the shit out of my own bed! I absolutely LOVE my own company. Nothing better than having a whole weekend to myself with no plans. Couldn't be doing with any Needy Nellies. As for sex? Meh. I'd rather read a book or dig out the Nintendo Switch to be honest. I don't see all the fuss. Yes every now and then I could do with a right good one 😃 but would I want someone in my life who expected me to put out three times a week? Would I fuck. Just the thought irritates me. Twice a year would do me. I do remember being in love and it really is amazing... but in my experience never ends well and all goes to shit eventually anyway. I do think of how lovely it would be to have a partner, the RIGHT partner and camper van all around the UK together etc. But it's all a pipe dream really and especially coming on here and reading dozens upon dozens of predicaments women find themselves in and the amount of SHIT they inexplicably put up with. I hear all the noise about how life is about finding someone to enjoy it with, I hear all these songs about love and how you're nothing if nobody loves you etc and yes it does hurt hearing that and makes you feel a bit worthless. It's all a bit Disney though isn't it? That isn't real for a lot of people, only the lucky ones. Is it strange that at the grand old age of 38... I just can't be fucked with it anymore? Is anyone else out there Romance Retired at my age?

OP posts:
Leafy3 · 28/08/2022 12:22

Welcome to the Bright Side 😁

SavoirFlair · 28/08/2022 12:35

Did you know @MondaysAreFineItsYourLifeThatsShit that there’s a Relationships board on Mumsnet ?

where you can write stream of consciousness with no paragraphs etc and you’ll be bang on topic!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships

YABU by the way…

DrBrennerFan · 28/08/2022 12:39

I’m back but one remark pulling me to bits I’ll be gone I’m facing singlehood my dreams are shattered. Hope your ok. Hugs. The Christmas thread will cheer me up.

Adviceandacuppa · 28/08/2022 12:46

Being single is great, I’m late 20’s and I’ve been single for 5 years and no plan on changing that anytime soon! Sure sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone to chat to in the evenings or to experience things with outside of family and friends but it would take a near perfect person to make me give up my personal time and peace for them now… and I haven’t met someone like that yet! I also am pretty certain I could never live with someone full time again, I enjoy only having myself, dd and the dog to clean up after. Relationships and commitment are overrated IMO and too many people base their whole lives around having to be with someone - it’s liberating being on your own in a world like this.

Rosewaterblossom · 28/08/2022 12:58

I agree with you OP, although I don't want to be single forever I get what you're saying!

The thought of couples seeking eachothers permission to go out for an evening is really weird to me now. I don’t mean if they've got little dc at home and one is constantly out all the time. I mean the "is it ok if I go to the cinema Friday with X?" type thing and the partner actually giving permission for them to do so! And the totting up of who's been out /when. Very bizarre! Or not being able to watch what you want on the TV because the other doesn't like it.

I can eat what I want and when, as long as dc are fed. I can watch what i want and when. Go wherever I want and when. Its bloody lovely!

However, I do miss the companionship and conversations as well as the intimacy of sex with a long term partner.

Ivyruin · 28/08/2022 13:01

I'm late 20s and been single 3 years! I absolutely love it. I don't plan on changing it anytime soon either! Glad you're happy 😊

MondaysAreFineItsYourLifeThatsShit · 28/08/2022 13:04

I'm debating flying off to a hot country at Christmas this year! Just grab a few Stephen King's and fuck off out of it ☀️

OP posts:
DrBrennerFan · 28/08/2022 13:11

Once he’s gone my bedroom will be my sanctuary, I never want a man again I’m done I don’t hate men but I’m going to be utterly selfish from now on. Never again will I put up with crap music programmes smoking no sex moaning . Grumpiness weed.

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