I've name changed for this thread.
My daughter left her abusive ex and has been attempting to co-parent for the last few years. A refuge, police and CPS was involved.
A while back she had to ask us to do communication on her behalf due to the way he used messages to further abuse her - accusing her of neglect etc. We are now finding this impossible to do. He still sends the same messages and seems incapable of controlling himself. We attempt grey rock where appropriate, but some issues do need to be addressed or facts corrected. If we could we would report him for harrassment, but someone has to communicate with him for the children's sake, so we have put up with it till now.
We are happy to devote the time and effort to facilitate communication, but it is causing immense stress and eating up our time. We help a lot in many practical ways, including doing hand overs and child care. I suspect this will end up back in the family courts eventually, but would like to avoid as long as possible. It will not be pleasant.
My question is, can we insist on him appointing someone to communicate on his behalf too? Is it even ok to ask? Does anyone have experience of a situation like this and could give us any advice? I know we can't force him to do this, but we need some support and ideas.