Feel awful after being dropped

[champagne98]

I was seeing someone since the start of this year, and we agreed to be exclusive in March. All went well but in July there were a few weekends where I didn’t hear from him at all for 2 days, which was unusual for us as we usually spoke daily, even if it was a quick phonecall or a few texts.

I didn’t think too much of it the first time as he mentioned being particularly busy that weekend, but then it happened again in August and he seemed generally distant. I brought this up to him, and he got quite angry with me, telling me that I was causing problems between us by mentioning it.

I noticed that the dynamic felt quite unbalanced - where it seemed like it was me who had to suggest plans/dates, me who had to contact him first or I wouldn’t hear from him, etc. beforehand it was equal, but it felt like he had taken a big step back after he was the one who pushed for a relationship initially.

I tried once more to discuss this with him, where he completely denied changing and wouldn’t engage at all. So I stopped making all the effort because it was exhausting and miserable - lo and behold, I have now not heard from him in over a week, so it looks like the relationship is over.

I feel really upset and hurt that he would pull the rug like this, and not even have the decency to break up with me or tell me he had lost interest - he just left me to realise he was putting 0 effort in, and eventually give up myself. It feels really cruel, and like it lacks any real closure. I still don’t know why he suddenly changed.

can anyone offer any words of wisdom on this, and how I can move past it?

thanks in advance.

Oh that's a classi. An action - like going away for a week with you - designed to make you think things are progressing, followed by radio silence. I think men get cold feet once the thrill of the 'in love' stage shifts to the normality and domesticity of everyay. Sometimes a holiday can do this, where you end up having to be your normal unshiny self some of the time. If you were close enough to go away for a week at the beginning of August then he has got cold feet/intimacy issues. Not a grown up.

An ex of mine did this years ago. Thankfully not married and no kids. Lived together though.

Started to get the feeling he had lost interest in Feb. Wouldn't talk. Just kept dropping hints. I deliberately didn't take the hints because I wanted to force him to come out with it. He finally ended it in May after being a total twat for 3 months. Years later, I found out that he had been unfaithful towards the end, with a girl he'd met at a hobby group around Feb. What a coward though.