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Relationships

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How does this add up ?

1 reply

stillvicarinatutu · 28/08/2022 02:22

Ok I know and I'm just rambling here

My ex . I was absolutely in love . But he was a twat .

Every decision was unilateral. Like Xmas dinner - he didn't like turkey so he chose pork . Never asked me what I would like . He made the decision.

He told me I would pay for holidays because his ex had - but I had no contribution to the house other than pay for decor , carpets , paint etc .

He argued all the time . I booked a luxury holiday all inclusive , pis for upgrades like business class etc . When I tried to show him the resort his response was "stop shoving that fucking phone under my nose "
When we got there he accused me of booking a different resort to what I told him. Tried to explain it wasn't . He was angry he thought there wasn't a gym - there was - tried to explain where it was - took him to reception to get them to explain the set up -
He walked out . Stamped his foot and told me he wanted to go home .

He hated me drinking but would ply me with cocktails when it suited him .

He mocked me at work and made me the bitt of his jokes to all our colleagues which I didn't find out till we split

I got pregnant with his child. When he found out she had a chromosome disorder he told me it would be a millstone round our neck and told me he didn't want to continue with the pregnancy but he wouldn't stay with me when I took the pills to abort . In the day he referred to our baby as "that" he said "that would traumatise most people " when she was brought to me to hold .

He wanted sex straight away and I got pelvic inflammatory disease.

He told me I was an embarrassment to him for being off work after the termination. (It was a late term termination)

He changed his will after
An argument to leave the house I was paying for to his ex wife . I didn't know this for a year . Had anything happened to him I'd have been out on my ear .

He barricaded himself in the bedroom after arguments and wouldn't let me in . He smashed lamps and needled me about the baby until I fled the house.

Now what I cannot understand is this - we split because I left . I left with my dog and a suitcase.

He started seeing someone else within 3 months but was still sleeping with me.

He finally ditched me to work on a relationship with this woman . She had a young child . As far as I know they're together 3 years later .
How ?
How can he not be showing her why her showed to me?
Can he really be totally different with her ?
She's moved in with him - so he's now got the "healthy " child he wanted .
But even when he was seeing her and still seeing me in the side - he laughed about the little boy falling off a wall at his mothers bloody mansion .....
How can this woman not see what he showed me ? He couldn't his cruel streak for more than 5 weeks with me - how is he having a successful relationship with someone else and her child ?

My friend stopped speaking to me after festival day out where she told me she saw how he rolled his eyes at everything I said and took the piss out of all I said . She said he treated me like dirt and she had no respect for me anymore because I didn't see it .
I've had colleagues message me since we split telling me the vile things he used to say in meetings about mw to all our colleagues. Personal sexual stuff .

He was only with me because he couldn't satisfy his first wife - he had thought he was sexually inept . With me he wasn't . His ego was massive after that .

Is it possible he can be a different person with his new relationship? After 3 years how can she not see why he is ?
Yea I'm feeling badly done To I guess - he swans off into the sunset with everything he wants .

I've been single since . I'm likely to remain single and I'm 50 with health issues now and my future appears to be quite bleak .

I want to say it's not fair . Which sounds pathetic.

How do these men just move on breeze through ? When they do t deserve to ? How ? Was it just me he didn't gel with ? Was it me that made him nasty ? And he's ok with other people? I do t get it .

OP posts:
MintJulia · 28/08/2022 03:18

First of all, he should be strung up for treating anyone like that, I don't care what the reason and you should be thrilled to be rid of him. Why are you still wasting head space on such a lowlife?

I assume the other woman just won't take that crap. She won't be dictated to. She refuses to be mocked or bullied or undermined. If he wants to stay, he has to behave decently or he knows she'll dump him from a great height.

I had one like that (for about two days). I cooked one evening, he turned up, said the meal wasn't anything he liked and tried to tell me to make something else. I shrugged, showed him the door and told him to get a takeaway on his way home. Never accept rudeness or bullying. Nip it in the bud right away.

You are much better off single than in a bad relationship. treat yourself to something lovely this weekend, and learn to love yourself more. You deserve a million times better than that. xx

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