Should my friend report ex’s harassment to the police?

[Charlie1995]

Hi,
I posted last night and received some amazing advice, thank you <3 told my friend about this site today and she wants some advice from strangers on her situation, but doesn’t want to make an account so I’m posting on her behalf

She left her partner 2 months ago, nothing bad really happened, relationship just ran its course. For the next couple of weeks he kept trying to get in touch with her, begging to give it one more chance and that he loved her and wanted her back. After he was blocked, he used a different phone number to text her and then later created a new Facebook account. She told him not to attempt to contact her again or she would report as harassment to the police, and for 2 months has heard nothing from him. It was her birthday a few days ago, and in the mail she received a gift card from her ex. There was a message attached that said he still loves her and misses her and couldn’t let her birthday go by without wishing her a good one. She isn’t sure whether to now go to the police and follow through on what she said? But would the police even do anything? She isn’t afraid of him, he has never been threatening or nasty, she just wants to be left alone. There has been a 2 month gap since he last attempted contact too, so would the police actually do anything? She also doesn’t know his current address as he moved after the split.

What would you do? Report it or just ignore it? Contact the ex and reiterate that you will go to the police if it continues? She also isn’t sure if she is over reacting, she still loves him but again, just wants him to be gone and no longer messing with her head

thanks!

I would ignore it. In his current mindset, any response at all gives him reason to hope. I think it would be an over-reaction too, given that he hasn't contacted her for two months.

I did once have to report someone to the police for harassment (not an ex b/f) and they were brilliant, took it seriously and contacted him and told him to stop. I think though that the two month gap would lead them to suggest first seeing how things go. If he tries another few times to contact her, that's a different matter but I think he's most likely to give up if she doesn't respond this time.

Completely agree with @PastMidnight. Leave it for now. If he ramps up contact, that’s a different matter.

I think they should talk to the police for advice if they said that they would, otherwise the guy will know that her words are meaningless. It’s not just that he sent a unwanted gift, he did it after being told no and that the police would be involved. That’s pretty creepy when you think about it.

Tell your friend to start logging previous contact too. It’s very easily for these types of things to escalate, especially of he still believes he loves her despite no contact for months.