what would you think of this??

[gottostopnamechanging]

Ive needed to get this of my chest.

Im feeling really annoyed at my parents at the moment. They have been out of work for ages and never have spare cash. My Grandma helps them out a lot. In their house she has bought the TV, sofas, fridge/freezer, tumble dryer computer, DVD player, and pays the BT bill and takes them on holiday 2 times a year. Fine but My Grandma is not rich not even well off she is widowed and lives in a council house and they don't even seem to like her- They are always moaning that she is coming down or when she is with them. Recently my parents persuaded her that buying a car would be good for her so they could pick her up to visit more so she stumped up the cash Her visits have not increased. They are treating her like a cash cow. The worst thing is they have come into some money not a massive amount but instead of offering to pay their way for the holiday or whatever they have treated themselves to a new laptop and TV which they gave strict instruction not to tell my Gran incase she thinks they have some money. The sad thing is I think my Gran knows this but feels like if she doesn't give the money they wont bother to visit.

Makes me feel quite sick really Just needed to let that out.

Thats really

don`t know what to say

They are treating her horribly. If it bothers you I think you should say something. They won't like it, but it sounds as if they are able to justify their actions somehow, so if you point out a different perpective it might make them rethink.

(Just a thought, are you sure your gran doesn't mind gifting them all these things? Sometimes people do it to save losing a lot to the taxman with inheritance tax.)

My mother was a bit like this when my Nana was alive. My Nana went into a home, and had a safe full of jewellry and papers which my Mum decided should be kept at her house. She arranged some men to carry this heavy thing upstairs (about £300 it came to), and she used my Nans money to pay for it because 'it was her safe'.

Nah maidamess she was actually telling them that she doesn't have much money left (I think to stop them asking, because she isn't offering all these things) but they weren't having any of it, They were actually discussing that she must have some because...

My Parents are completely not in the real world they have reasons and excuses for everything and none of them make much sense. We have very strained relationship anyway so nothing would come of me telling them. They would simply say that they do stuff for her or turn it around on me.

Also I think everyone including Gran is aware of what is happening but its like an unmentionable thing because its so crap.

Hi gottostopnamechanging, I dont usually post on mumsnet (strictly a lurker!) but I couldn't let this one pass because its so awful ...

I am not sure if you have heard of financial abuse of the elderly, because this feels to me as though it is bordering on financial abuse. Here is a link to a relevant site www.preventelderabuse.org/elderabuse/fin_abuse.html. I apologise if this is a bit heavy or if you think i am speaking out of turn but I feel really strongly that what your parents are doing to your poor old gran is very wrong.

Hope you and your gran are ok. She is lucky that you are looking out for her.
ScotsBird
x.