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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Money

33 replies

anotherdude50 · 27/08/2022 16:52

Hi. I am a man, married 13 years. My wife has 2 children, with us always. No dad. Dd is 14, ds is 19. Known Them 14 years.
My wife work for me. Part time. Does House work. Kids when smaller.
When we met, she had dept. 200.000. I had vacation House. We sold. Paid her dept. Bought House. My money. Got married. Now 14 years later . She want divorce. And want half. Of everything. Also what i had Before marriage . (300.000)
Inspired of another thread.
Is that fair?
I want what i had before. Then share the rest. I Think she is a Gold digger

OP posts:
Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 27/08/2022 16:54

Doesn’t really matter what you think is fair. It sounds like it will come down to what the judge thinks.

Inspired by another thread - does this mean you’ve made this up?

MolliciousIntent · 27/08/2022 16:56

If you didn't want to be liable to split assets on divorce, why did you get married?

Original poster
anotherdude50 · 27/08/2022 16:56

I thought it was forever

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 27/08/2022 16:57

What are her reasons for wanting a divorce? She's perfectly entitled to half of everything, that's her legal right.

Ponderingwindow · 27/08/2022 17:02

14 years isn’t a short marriage.
your wife working for you does not come into your favor. That could either mean you had control over her income or it could mean it was really a family business and belongs to her as much as it belongs to you.

you both need to seek legal representation, not to become adversarial, but to make sure this complicated situation is handled fairly.

DenholmElliot1 · 27/08/2022 17:03

You married a woman who had 2 kids and £200,000 of debt?

Hmmm

Loachworks · 27/08/2022 17:05

She's only entitled to what the law says...suck it up, you sound so cold.

Original poster
anotherdude50 · 27/08/2022 17:07

Im angry . I worked my ass of for her kids and her. And now she leave. And take half . Even what i had before ! We had a deal. Forever . I believed her. And now she fuck me over. I loose my Home. My house. Everything

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 27/08/2022 17:08

Why is she leaving?

NovasNest · 27/08/2022 17:08

You are allowed to write in full sentences on here OP. It helps the narrative flow better.

roarfeckingroarr · 27/08/2022 17:08

You sound very bitter.

Marriage is a legal contract. It doesn't care about you feeling angry and emotional.

roarfeckingroarr · 27/08/2022 17:09

Assuming you did all this out of choice: you made your bed.

Original poster
anotherdude50 · 27/08/2022 17:10

She is leaving because i work too much. I am not present enough. Not engaging in Family life enough. Sex is apparently bad. She is lonely. Bored. I sulk.
And now she take even the money i had before i met her!

OP posts:
NovasNest · 27/08/2022 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
anotherdude50 · 27/08/2022 17:17

What does that mean?

OP posts:
Crazykefir · 27/08/2022 17:19

This isn't the forum to complain about your wife.

MolliciousIntent · 27/08/2022 17:39

anotherdude50 · 27/08/2022 17:10

She is leaving because i work too much. I am not present enough. Not engaging in Family life enough. Sex is apparently bad. She is lonely. Bored. I sulk.
And now she take even the money i had before i met her!

That all sounds fair enough. If you wanted forever, you should have put a bit more effort into it!

Original poster
anotherdude50 · 27/08/2022 18:01

Wow

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 27/08/2022 18:07

Why should she stay with you if you're disengaged, sulky and work obsessed?

CatherinedeBourgh · 27/08/2022 18:10

She had a deposit of 200k, you had 300k.

So the argument is over 50k?

MolliciousIntent · 27/08/2022 18:12

CatherinedeBourgh · 27/08/2022 18:10

She had a deposit of 200k, you had 300k.

So the argument is over 50k?

I think OP spelled "debt" wrong.

Pollydon · 27/08/2022 18:13

Anyone has the right to leave a relationship at any time for any reason.
The way you're lashing out on here shows that you dont believe this.

Original poster
anotherdude50 · 27/08/2022 18:13

No . She had debt i had money

OP posts:
Thelifeofawife · 27/08/2022 18:32

Seems a lot of harsh responses. If this was a woman posting the replies would be much more supportive.
I suspect he works long hours to help provide and cover the cost of her life choices and children, and is tired as a result.

OP you need to see a solicitor, but be prepared that it may not go how you want it to

Threadkill · 27/08/2022 20:32

Crazykefir · 27/08/2022 17:19

This isn't the forum to complain about your wife.

I agree! Dear OP, while I genuinely sympathise with the fact that you feel hard done by, I don’t think you’ll find much sympathy on Mumsnet🤣. Maybe try Fathers for Justice, instead…