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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help me remember why I'm better off without him

9 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 27/08/2022 13:51

18 months since break up, he was very passive and lazy. He felt it better to have no contact as that was easier for him. He has been in touch via a friend today to arrange a bureaucratic bit of paperwork He needs. This is not anything major, a quick Google shows he can do it himself. He thinks he can just reinstate contact as he needs something. I know I'm better off, I'd even got to the point of feeling happy being single for a bit but now I feel sad at the rejection again. Even though I know I dodged a bullet. Ahhh anyone in solidarity with me?

OP posts:
Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 27/08/2022 14:07

Should read 18 months

OP posts:
sleepymum50 · 27/08/2022 14:25

Not sure I fully understand? Where is the rejection?

I would have thought the fact his got in touch with you to sort out something he could Google and do himself would just remind you how passive and lazy he is?

Sorry if I’m being thick.

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 27/08/2022 14:33

I think I worded this all badly reading it back it's confusing.
By rejection I meant I was reminded of the sadness of the break up.
Yes you are right, it does remind me that he is passive and lazy, I think it was that initial response to being reminded of an ex that hurt you

OP posts:
sleepymum50 · 27/08/2022 19:05

I get you now. Would it be appropriate to just tell him not to contact you again.

It sounds like him not being in contact has worked for you, so I think the best you can do is keep it that way even if you have to block him.

You have my sympathies.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 27/08/2022 19:08

There a reason people invented ‘grey rock’ and ‘no contact’ after break ups

its hard and I’m sorry you feel shit
I hope it passes soon

catandcoffee · 27/08/2022 19:11

So he could just Google but wants YOU to do the legwork...lazy shit.

Write a list of his shity lazy ways....😉

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 27/08/2022 19:41

Yes I will tell the friend to tell him no more contact. Reminders of exes are hard aren't they. I don't even want him back but it still hurts

OP posts:
spotteddicksarebestavoided · 27/08/2022 22:39

Don’t see him. It will nag at your recovery from the breakup.

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 27/08/2022 23:10

No definitely will not be seeing him I want no contact, he was quite cruel about that at the start, until he needs something then it's fine to expect he can have contact 18 months later

OP posts:
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