What does my ex mean by this

[Tittle]

Recently me and my ex broke up. We had a big argument and I ended things. He was hurt that I ended things, really really hurt. I apologised for hurting him, I said I didn’t mean to do it but I acknowledged that I crossed the line and ruined everything.

Recently we had a long phone call sort of talking it all out. On the phone call he said that I need to show him I’ve changed, then later on he said that’s why he’s drawn a line under our relationship, he also said he still thinks about me he also said he’s confused about my behaviour because I told him I want him back but then I’ve been out partying?. I just listened and didn’t take everything he said until later on board but I feel confused I don’t want to rehash everything again but I feel like he’s saying two different things do I just ask him

Honestly? I think you need to put this relationship behind you and move forward. He's giving you mix signals and toying with you, whilst you don't know where you stand - that's not healthy.

he also said he’s confused about my behaviour because I told him I want him back but then I’ve been out partying?

In his mind you're not allowed to go on nights out if you're thinking about getting back with him?

Were you not allowed to go on nights out when you were actually with him?

This sounds toxic AF to be honest.

I was allowed out but apparently what I wore out was scandalous. It was a bit very tight with cut out bits but the whole time I was out I thought of him!

i think he thinks I was looking for male attention

You ended things. Why do you need to show him you’ve changed? He was the one being an arse!!

Leave “his lordship” to his delusions and move on with your life! There must be nicer men out there.

Did he apologise for the behaviour that made you “dump his ass”?
…no, thought not.

You don't seem to realise how controlling and wrong this is?! Is this normal for you, as it shouldn't be and if it is then it's worth you doing the freedom programme to help learn about appropriate boundaries and relationship dynamics.

For now, absolutely stop talking to a controlling, misogynist man you've finally gotten away from.

Block, delete, move on.

the whole time I was out I thought of him!

My partner would feel genuinely sad if I said this about him because he wants me to have fun with my friends and feel relaxed and happy.

Not preoccupied with thoughts of him during an evening out. I exist as a separate person to our relationship as well as being very happy in it.

Me enjoying myself without him isn't a reflection on him. It doesn't mean I love him less. It means I am simply enjoying myself and he isn't there.

IME the 'I was thinking of him the whole time I was out' thing only happens in already anxious and toxic relationships.

This one is bad news OP, stop talking to him.

ha!
You ended it but he's manipulating you in to thinking that you need to show him you've changed? WHY would you need to show him that?

In what way do you need to change? Seriously. I'm sure you're not perfect but that's your business and you can look at your own doubts, insecurities and blind spots on your own without his approval or involvement.

Is he trying to re-write history? You ended it. But you need to convince him you've changed. you don't This puts you back up in the dock needing his blessing and approval.

It's like he is disregarding the break up. He's still acting like you need his approval.

Is this why you ended it with him? Did he put you up in the dock and make you explain yourself to him while you were with him?

You do get to move on. It's weird at first but bear the weirdness of no contact and you will get through it. Don't deplete yourself trying to get an ex's blessing for dumping him. He is never going to say you did the right thing.

oh dear. Having read this, please don't go back to him.

Go no contact. It's hard at first but you will stop thinking about him if you follow the rules of no contact. Don't be on the phone to him reassuring him that although you were out with your friends you were thinking about him.

You are entitled to go out with your friends. Does he ruin every good night out by making you feel guilty about things you haven't even done.