I filed for Divorce today.

[SparklePrincess]

I tried everything, fought tooth & nail, but nothing worked. He refuses to even try & treats me like sh1t. Enough is enough.
Cant believe its come to this. We will have to sell our family home & the dc & I will most likely have to move to a cheaper area.
At least the balls rolling now though I suppose. Eventually we will be able to start our new life without that selfish @rsehole.
The b@st@rd wont even move out, preferes to stick around twisting the knife despite any damage & upset caused to the dc.

so sorry to hear what you are going thru sending some hugs your way.

My exdh refused to move out too. I spent 6 months living but not living with him iyswim. We used to race each other to get to the post first in case there was something from each others solicitors or the court (Quite funny now in hindsight - but definitly not at the time.)

At least we didn't have children together. It will end, there is ilght at the end of the tunnel now you've started the ball rolling.

At least he`s not here tonight so ive got the night off.
Lets hope this thing doesnt drag out too long.

Sorry to hear that Sparkle. Hope things turn out ok.

hi sparkle, hope things get better very very soon.

i'm seeing divorce sol next monday.

it's all pants eh.

Too right. Good luck at that appointment Paddlechick666.

having gone through the living together whilst split thing I can only sympathise - and he sat on MSN and facebook to his girlies each night in the same room laughing and sniggering - truely sickening but what a prick!!!!!

Fingers crossed for you Sparkle.

You will always be able to say you tried your very best to make it work.

I certainly did.
How do I get through this awful time when he wont leave?

Am going through something similar but fortunately (touch wood) we are getting on well.

I know it sounds weird, but can you tolerate spending as much time as you can apart, even though you are living together? Things like leaving the room when he starts being an arse - or just leaving the room when he enters it, keeping as busy as possible with the kids, spending a night or two a week at a friends/relatives for a few hours?

I feel for you and know it will be tough, but so worth it in the long run. Your dc will benefit from having a happy mum, no matter where you live and remember how adaptable they are.

so sorry to hear this sad news.

sparkle, I'm sorry to hijack, but i just wanted to say hello to Paddlechick - I hadn't realised what was happening P'chick - so sorry it's come to this and that you are going through so much.

sorry to interject and i have no doubt that the op's husband is being a twunt, but how come all women expect the man in the relationship to be the one to move out?and if he doesn't he's being the dick?
even in the case of panic pants who didn't have kids at the time.she says her ex-dh "refused to move out" why didn't she just leave? i know i certainly wouldn't willingly move my home on the demands of someone who was in the process of seperating from me.

I don't automatically expect that the male should move out, but admittedly it is easier for a single man to find somewhere to stay than a woman with several dc.

When I was so desparately unhappy in my relationship, I was prepared to move out, even without my children. The only thing I wanted was the least disruption for them.

From what I gather, Sparkle and h are going to sell their house and both move anyway.

yes and presumably due to the anti-male agenda of the family courts she will be getting custody of the kids.which means that this is probably the last chance he will get to live with his children full time rather than just be a weekend dad. i know i'd try and drag out that time for as long as possible,
even in your description of the father as a "single man" as opposed to the mother as "a woman with several dc", their is a definite bias. the man has the exact same children too.

Fair enough.

The courts are supposed to be acting on behalf of the childrens best interest. If the children are used to their mother being the main carer then surely it would be incredibly upsettling and distressing for their whole routine and life as they know it to be changed. If the father was the main carer then it would be awful for the children if the mother was awarded full custody.

My and my h are in the process of splitting up and the one thing we have agreed on is that we work around the children. I am happy for him to see them everyday and I know his biggest fear is to be a weekend dad. We are still both parents of two dc, and the state of our relationship will never alter that. Fair enough he is the one to move out at the moment, but in 12 months time that may change (due to his job etc). Ultimately the children are our main concern.

hi choosy, thanks for saying hello.

how're things with you?

things here have gone from bad to good to worse to bad to worse to good to dreadful.

i couldn't have tried harder and he has to live by the choices he's made.

sorry for the hijack.......

The problem with us is that H isnt really living here. He isnt trying to drag out time with the dc. I am not the one who chose to end this relationship, HE IS! (Against my wishes) He stayed here last night & we had to virtually force him to come out with us today & make an effort for the sake of the dc. He made a huge fuss, really upset my eldest, made me say things I shouldnt of done only to eventually go along with the original plan. He isnt interested in saving their feelings at all. This is why I want him to move out. I would love to move out myself with the dc, but I dont have a job & couldnt pay rent, bills etc. I wouldnt be entitled to housing benefit because id of made us intentionally homeless. Were at the mercy of this nasty selfish individual who drops in and out as he feels like it with no prior warning, yet 80% of the time is staying god knows where. The dc are upset & confused & I cant do a damn thing to make it better. What gives any man or woman the right to treat their dc (who they profess to love) in that way?