Toxic relationship who leaves?

[Whattodo898]

Hello,

we privately rent a 2 bed house with my husband 3 kids and dog. I’ve posted before about my husband and think I’m ready to leave him now.

my question is, whilst there’s no physical violence he is an emotional abuser. He’s in a hotel I paid for tonight as he brought drugs into my home and I absolutely do not tolerate that when I have 3 children here. But today he will have to check out at 12, what happens then?

we are on the council list anyway as cramped here, I can’t afford private renting and even moving to a 2 bed private rent now the LHA is £150 over the 3 bedroom rate it’s ridiculous!

im worried if I tell him he needs to go, he won’t long term, he was ok last night as I put him up in a hotel but if he had to go into council hostel or whatever I feel he will not do it.

will a charity or anything help me and the kids to leave him? I don’t care about where we go, I just don’t want to live here with his anger/outburst the drugs ect anymore. Last weekend he assaulted someone at football and the week before he had a road rage incident with me and the kids in the car it was terrifying. I feel like whilst he’s never hurt me maybe he will if I kick him out properly.

Are both your names on the tenancy agreement ?

Have you spoken to a solicitor ?

its only my name on the tenancy agreement. I’ve lived here 11 years, him 8. My worry is, him just turning up and kicking the door in ect rather than legalities of who’s entitled to stay if that makes sense.

Was there any police involvement with the road rage and assault ?

Ok, so he has no right to be there. Let him know he’s out, put his stuff at the end of the garden path, and phone the police if he starts to kick off.
Do you have a male relative who could come and help you ?
Do not agree to leave a home that Is in your name.

If he comes round to kick in the door, call the police.

You could speak to them this morning and tell them you're worried he'll try to force his way in, and explain that he has no legal claim on the home, so they're prepared.

He can sort out somewhere to go himself, he's a grown man.

You need to be really strong here and see this through. He has no rights to your property. Enlist the help of a male friend or relative to be with you when he returns. tell him to pack his stuff and go and the first sign of violence or aggression, call the police. He doesn't have to be physically violent for the police to be involved.

It will be really hard at first but for the sake of your children, you haver to get him out

You can also talk to domestic abuse services - emotional abuse is something they will support with, and you are also afraid he'll be violent (his recent history, and fear he'd break down your door).