DP and I have been together for four years now, live together and generally get on well. Had a blip earlier this year but getting on so much better now.
He started a new job around a year ago and mentioned a female coworker pretty frequently, but always in a negative way. For example 'Female coworker is so lazy', 'female coworker gets on too well with management'. I didn't think much of it.
The female coworker has a bf and my DP suggested we all go out and meet up. She and I did not get along well at all, comments from her such as 'I can't believe you did your hair and makeup Strawberry, I always look homeless' etc. when she really did not look homeless. Also comments about my age which I found really odd, she is two years younger than me.
Anyway, the comments from my DP about her are becoming more frequent but also more positive. I'd rather he got along with coworkers obviously, but he seems to have changed his tune very quickly.
A few nights ago he gave me his phone to add what I wanted onto the weekly shop. A message from the coworker came up and I know that I absolutely shouldn't have done this and it's a breach of trust but I looked at their messages and pretty much none of the messages are about work. He's been giving her advice regarding some issues in her life, he asked her if she was going to be at an event in our city and she has also invited him to places which he has declined. There was also a picture that he had put on social media of me that she had zoomed in on and made fun of in what I think was meant to be lighthearted but still strange to me.
I really never thought that my DP would have an affair or emotional affair, he just does not seem the type. So quiet and reserved. Perhaps it's more of an ego boost situation on both sides.
Has anyone else had a similar experience? Feel like I'm overthinking this way too much.