I was in a volatile, abusive relationship from the age of 17 for a period of 10 years. I was a very insecure teenager and an all round people pleaser which led to me accept a lot of behaviours that I wouldn’t now. We also had a kid together very young.
After this relationship finished, I met someone amazing who lived a long way from me. We met up regularly and he truly taught me what love, patience and kindness is. Unfortunately, I was still so hurt and damaged from my previous relationship that I had to halt the brakes for a while in order to self heal and do what was best for my little one. This was Feb 2020 and then covid hit. We fell out of touch but I always made an effort to reach out and always held onto hope that we would reconcile as we had such a strong connection. I know he was hurt by us and he too went through a difficult time. I never voiced any of my feelings to him.
I’ve recently just seen a picture of him and his new girlfriend and it has completely and utterly destroyed me. My own fault for not telling him how I feel but I somehow held onto hope that it was going to work out and we would get to live happily ever after (naive I know). Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy for him as he was so lovely and I truly wish him the best in his relationship. I never really closed the door on us and need that closure I suppose.
Will I ever find happiness again? I’m now pushing 31 and all my friends are happily married or engaged and I feel like I will never find someone to share that with. I’ve honestly never felt so alone. Not to mention my ex still makes my life a living hell through our LO. I wish I had told him how I feel. Arghh.. 