Moving abroad after a breakup?

[fallacie]

Hi everyone,

I went through a breakup around 6 months ago. It was hard at first but now I'm generally doing okay, I'm back to being a functioning human being and working on becoming the best version of myself (god that sounds cringeworthy). However, I feel like my life is stalling and I want a fresh start.

I have always wanted to live abroad but never done so. Because of the breakup, I don't have anything tying me to where I am at the moment. Most of my friends are no longer local and my family are 5+ hours away already. I have no kids, pets, or mortgage. I'm 28 now and while I don't necessarily feel the clock is ticking, moving before I settle down seems the logical thing to do.

I am fully aware that I will not leave all my problems behind if I move somewhere else. My main concern is that moving to a foreign country exacerbates all my current problems. I am quite an anxious person, not good at putting myself out there, I struggle with loneliness fairly frequently.

On the one hand, I feel like moving will result in me being the same lonely person only in another country. On the other hand, I think it'd be good for me to push myself and like I said, I've always wanted to do this.

I work for a US firm so would look to move internally to either the New York or San Francisco office. My role would stay the same. My salary would increase and I think it would be good for my career. I'd get all the same benefits I do now, including healthcare. Company would help with the logistics of moving and finding initial accommodation.

I think it would be 6+ months from me raising the idea to actually moving, and I'd intend to use that time to try and get my anxiety under control a bit more (I've just started seeing a therapist) and get better at trying new things and meeting new people.

Is this a terrible idea? Am I seeing things through rose-tinted glasses or should I go for it?

I think it's a wonderful idea, a chance to reinvent yourself and have an adventure. What a huge opportunity go for it! Good luck

Great opportunity, go for it!!

I wish I'd done this at your age!

Oh wow what a fantastic opportunity! I'd spend that time really trying to control your anxiety but also getting yourself in great shape with exercise too. You are going to be living my 28 year old self's dream.

100% I would do this, absolutely wish I’d done it when I was your age.

Yes go for it. Especially good that you would have a ready made job and support with accommodation.

Do it.

Thank you all!

I was worried this was an elaborate way of trying to run away from my problems but it should be a really good opportunity for me. Let's hope my manager feels the same way!

Please do it!

This is exactly the plan.

I want to be "me 2.0" when I move, if that makes any sense. I let myself go towards the end of the relationship and after the breakup, which hasn't helped with anxiety/self-confidence at all. If I spend the next 6 months working on myself, I can put myself in the position to thrive if/when I do move. New place, new start and all that.

8 years ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years in June, and in September I moved to Spain to study a Masters and work. I still live there :)

Fabulous idea! It’s not running away from your problems. It’s seizing the opportunity to have an amazing adventure before you have commitments which make it harder to do this kind of thing.

Many moons ago, in my mid-20s, I worked abroad for a year and absolutely loved it. It was my 2nd year abroad because I had lived abroad for a year of my degree. Was planning to stay for, at least, 1 more year but got a job opportunity back home which was more directly relevant to what I’d studied at uni so I moved back home. But it was a fab year and I learnt so much and got so much confidence from living and working abroad - would recommend it to anyone who wants to do it.

I’m excited for you, OP, and I’ve never met you!

Go for it!

Definitely do it. I did the same and im still there with a fab new life.

I did this at 26. Had 4 years abroad on the east coast. Loved it. A great experience living and working overseas. Made loads of friends and was part of the community. Do it

Also did this at 26. Now 30. Best decision I ever made! Made a lot of friends, great career prospects with much better benefits! Now I speak my host country language fluently and getting there with my 3rd language, in my absolute dream job - there were times it was a bit difficult but so worth it! I'm a million times happier than I was at 25/26!

It's so exciting to hear everyone's experiences! And also very reassuring, I'm still slightly nervous of the idea of course but I'm going to go for it, assuming work will let me

I did. Much older than you too. I’m an introvert, but found making friends in a totally new environment so easy, much more fun. I could have gone to a different event every night of the week ( if I’d had the stamina)
You’ll never know unless you go for it. And you do not want to grow old thinking I wish I’d ………….