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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Constant lies and negativity but I can’t leave him?

4 replies

Cosmoslove · 23/08/2022 12:37

I feel so trapped in my relationship. My family live hours away and I live near my work with my partner. He has this negativity about him, he never wants to do anything (unless it’s with mates) and he’s got such a cold and hard attitude about him. I’ve always laughed it off and tried to bring out a fun and silly side, but I’m exhausted. I’ve tried to make it work, but more often than not I just feel alone and depressed here. I’ve found lots of debt letters that he’s lied about to me. I don’t know what’s going on with him half the time and when I ask, I get told off for snooping or it’s made out to be my fault. I’m so tired of it, but I have no savings and feel like I have nowhere to go. If I leave, I need to move jobs. I love my job. I love the area. But I can’t afford to be down here alone. Equally, I cannot mentally keep putting myself through this life with him. What do I do?

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 23/08/2022 12:42

Could your parents lend you the money for a deposit and the first month's rent on your own place? Or could you maybe look for a room in a shared house as a stop-gap solution?

There has to be a way you can stay there but without him, if that's what you want. But please don't waste any more time on this man.

Watchkeys · 23/08/2022 12:56

Have you found out what benefits you could get?

benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/

Contact your local CAB, they'll be able to offer advice on what's available financially in your area.

Justcallmebebes · 23/08/2022 13:50

I second the idea of looking for a flat/house share with someone else. Is that possible?

frozendaisy · 23/08/2022 14:57

Take the leap move back to family.

Get away from address with debt attached.

Partner will be fine with his private life and his mates don't continue to financially prop up this man who clearly doesn't value you or your contributions at all.

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