I've kept my relationship secret from everyone for over a year....

[skyqueens]

I'm 38 and up until 2019 only had relationships with men.
I met a woman 2019 and we dated.
It didn't go down well with my friends.
Friend 1-isn't it weird,eugh not for me and she stopped sharing a bed with me after nights out and trips away if it was a double bed.

Friend 2- well I think it's wrong two women /men raising a child
The child is brought up thinking it's right.

My family in the past have called those in gay relationships lots of unpleasant things I won't repeat.

Last January I met a woman and fell in love.
I'm so happy with her (happier than I've ever been and she treats me a million times better than any man has )
I see a future and hopefully kids.

Basically I've told nobody because all my family /friends are judgemental
I'm worried when I do tell my friends they are going to hate me for lying to them.
Does this make me a bad person?
My partner knows everything and doesn't care/we go out together /I've met her lovely friends etc
I post pics of us just never made it "official" anywhere

if they can only be your friends when you’re straight they are not your friends.

we have gay family members but on one side they didn’t get a warm welcome from the immediate family, but we accept them and made it clear. Not everyone will be against you - just the ones that don’t deserve you.

It’s obvious why you didn’t tell them about your current relationship but you have to ask yourself why you place so much importance by their opinions, especially the bigoted juvenile ones. Have you never challenged their bigoted views before? If not, it’s never too late to start.

My advice, make room for better friends.

The only thing you should be asking yourself is why you're still friends with these horrible people. Raise your standards.

Be you, everyone else is taken. Live your life authentically and be happy. What others think of you is none of your business and says a lot about them. I hope you find new accepting friends and have a happy life.

I don’t tell my family/certain colleagues/certain friends about my relationships (am a lesbian) because they absolutely suck the joy out of it. Ditch the ones you can ditch and find a new tribe! The ones you’re stuck with you can tell when/if you ever feel able to. I think confidence grows with time in a relationship, and hopefully the antis will be more supportive if they see your relationship is long term and happy.

Congratulations on finding someone you’re so happy with!

I was in a similar situation in that I was married to a man, got divorced after discovering his affair, and eventually met a woman and fell in love.

It took me a while to open up to my friends and family about it, especially as some of my family have been known to make homophobic comments. When I told them, their reaction was reserved. Some have stuck by me, have got to know what partner and love her; other have drifted away and that’s fine. My parents, and in particular my mother, have gone a little cold and contact us now more sporadic.

We have been together three years now and are getting married next spring. We are starting IVF soon too. They are missing out on seeing me happy and building a life with my partner, and hopefully a baby.

It’s their choice. I won’t battle to change their opinion but will concentrate on my own life.

Change WhatsApp/face book pictures. If you get any questions just say 'oh you mean 'sarah', she my partner of a year'.

If they give you shit. Ditch them.

Honestly?

Put yourself first & make yourself the priority not some judgemental idiots. You have one life & deserve to be happy. Go for it. If they can’t be happy for you then they don’t deserve you.

This. Sounds like you need new friends

Your friends are homophobes. They are bigoted towards gay people, which includes you, not just your partner. You need to find out how deep this bigotry goes if you can possibly maintain a friendship with them.

The friend refusing to share a bed with you in particular is appalling, I'm not sure I could forgive someone for suggesting I was going to sexually assault them - because that's what she's implying.

I'm sorry your friends and family aren't who you need them to be, but remember most people aren't homophobes and you can find plenty of people to love and support you in this life. Change your WhatsApp photo and live your best life with your lovely partner.

I would tell them maybe by message. Then if they don’t contact you again, you have your answer. Do you need that kind of judgement in your life? You deserve to be happy.

love is love. it’s wanting the absolute best for those people you love - so your friends, family, kids. If people only want you to be happy in their comfort zone, within certain parameters it’s not love really, it’s control or homophobic. So you do whatever makes you happy, the people who love you will be happy for you (even if this takes a little bit of time for maybe your immediate family to just adjust) and the people who aren’t will drift (happily for you)away. Happiness is important and don’t let other people tell you what should make you happy.. . Enjoy your relationship, hopefully there will be less idiots than you think!

F

As long as she's nice to you and it's a good relationship, there are billions of people you could be friends with who would be happy for you.

I have seen casually homophobic people instantly come around but only you know if they are worth bothering with.

you can't chose your family but you can chose your friends, and these people sound like a bunch of shits. Tell them to fuck off

True friends would be happy for you. Just tell them. If their arsey or judgemental ditch them.

Where did you find these friends, Saudi Arabia?