Immature Husband Anyone?

[hallomamma]

I hate to write this about my dh but I don't feel I can talk to friends or family about this.

I basically feel like most of the time myself and dh are not at all on the same wave length. At times I find him very immature. He moans about everyone on TV but doesn't just moan he says things like 'I wish someone would just take them outside, pour petrol on them and set them alight'. I have asked him on many occasions not to say things like that but he still carries on.

He complains about the way my 4 yr old ds eats but he doesn't even hold his knife and fork properly. I have suggested to him that if he held his cutlery properly then he would set a good example to ds but he just carries on.

We've been struggling with money lately and I know he's been worried about it but it hasn't stopped him spending money on totally un-necessary things.

I hate to say this but I don't really find him that attractive either, maybe it's because most of the time I find him so damn irritating.
He's also very forgetful which does my bloody head in. I feel like I have to do the thinking for both of us or it's like I'm looking after 3 children instead of 2.

I want an adult relationship. Is there anyone else out there that feels this way about their dh?

He sounds just like my Ex. He would see people on TV and say stuff like "he has a face you just couldn't tire of punching" and he would go on and on and on...

If we were watchings stuff like big brother launch he would litrally comment on every single woman that went in as if the aim of the sure was for the lasses to win his approval.

He used to go on and on about michael jackson being a paedophile and make up stupid sick jokes about him and people like Gary Glitter that he thought was hilarious...and he used to moan that he was skint and go out and buy an xbox game (or an actual xbox 360!) to make himself feel better.

AND he used to complain about the way the kids ate when he ate like a pig....come to think of it, your DH isn't called Dave by any chance is he???

** aim of the show, not sure!

Definitely not called Dave!!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds this continual moaning about everything and everyone annoying.

Funniest thing was that a few months ago he decided he wanted a change of scenery and wants to join the Police! I just said to him how does he ever expect to be able to diffuse a potentially hostile situation when he flies into a rage if someone doesn't wave to say thank you in the car if he lets them pull out!!!!?

that's so wierd...he went through a phase of saying he wanted to join the police too!!

Is he a Tory?

Wow!!! Hallomamma I feel EXACTLY the same way.I married my husband because he is a very loving, loyal, generous, laid-back guy. Sounds great, right? The problem is, he has NO BALLS. He is almost 30 nad has no career, he has proven unable to handle himself and take charge when things are going bad. I also feel like I am raising 2 kids instead of 1. If I don't take control of our lives, it will fall apart. I feel like I do everything or else I have to tell him what to do. Can't he EVER figure enything out for himself? I also have NO sex drive and sometime I can't even look at him because he disgusts me. He is SOO immature! I am contemplating divorce, but my Catholic fam is not supportive.

Do you not all think you sound a bit like them too?

Immature or selfish - I can't decide. My husband can't cope with anything emotional going on - including arguments or serious discussions. If I'm not happy about something he has said or done and try to express how I feel, he can't handle it and leaves the house in a sulk. It's always me phoning him to apologise and it somehow ends up being my fault!!

I work full time and he's at home with the kids but can't even remember to brush their teeth or give them healthy food - all down to poor memory according to him.

On the subject of money, he often says he's depressed and spends money we can't afford on e-bay and gadgets for himself to cheer himself up. Again, if I say I'm not happy about his spending I'm accused of being tight and at the first hint of any argument he's out the door and threatening suicide. I can't win.

My ex was just the same, and still is actually. He is racist, sexist - every other 'ist' going. He hates stupid people, hates rich people (because he's not one). Left me for an amateur d.j., and to pursue his dreams of becoming an actor/ dancer/ stand-up comedian/ musician. He actually takes classes in all these things. These little men know they are little men. That's why they bring everything else down to their size or smaller, so they don't feel crap on their own.

Aha, so that's where my soon-to-be-ex H was going when he said he was out working but signally failed to bring any money home. He was going round to all your houses in turn, getting you to make tea for him, pretending to look after your children, and lying about his age. When he does that thing with the telly he can't realise just how close he is to being the soon-to-be-LATE H, otherwise he'd keep a hard hat on.