What would you make of this?

[Gotanewname]

Recently split from H and feeling very wobbly about it. Was entirely my decision, he’s desperate to reconcile. Anyway, musing on many things that have happened over the years and trying to get my head round why/ what it means/ what to make of it.

To the point: he shared really intimate details with my family, I.e really intimate sexual details about a specific event that happened between us, basically as part of a weird anecdote over a meal. I was mortified and sat trying not to cry, my mum and others were just embarrassed and moved the conversation along. For context we were in a very rough patch.

I had a go at him the following day for humiliating me and he claimed not to see the problem, thought it was funny, behaved like I was overreacting to be upset. I just can’t comprehend why anyone would do this and it crosses my mind it was deliberate humiliation, a sort of control. But I’m not sure and my head is all over the place at the moment. Thoughts, wise women of MN?

Has he reflected differently on it? How about the other reasons you wanted to split?

We’ve not discussed it since.

We split for a million reasons, certainly not because of this but I guess it contributes (in a very, very minuscule way!) to his difficult behaviour which has basically worn me down over the years.

Well now you know there's absolutely no way back. Make sure he knows that now.

That was really inappropriate and does seem intended to humiliate you and upset your family as well (possibly trying to put a wedge between you).

Hopefully it was miscalculated and made him look a unfiltered weirdo to them.

For that one incident alone Yanbu to keep the twat away op.

I’m pretty sure there is no going back though it all feels really hard now and he makes big promises about changing. Meanwhile i’m just trying to unpick stuff and understand how bad it was…I suppose to justify why I’m doing this to my kids.

I don't know why he told that story but it's outrageous!