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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Pls be kind I'm stuck

17 replies

sunflowerneedshersun · 22/08/2022 20:49

So basically husband n I have had many many ups and downs.. himself and his school time ex got back in touch n was msging each other love u miss u etc etc..
this was 6 years ago...
Since then I've always felt second best...
2 years ago I got a random add on a social media site..
A guy.. totally random apart from one person in common between us who is my relative abut a far acquaintance of the guy..
We start chatting normal...
i ask him why he added me he said he liked my pix n found he had a connection with the things I shared.. ( quotes.. sayings..)
So we chat for a few months as friends n it gets a bit flirty.. he is 10 years younger but doesn't seem it in the way he converses and his outlook on life..

I told him I was feeling distant from husband n told him why..
He said if he was in husbands place he would feel proud to have me as a wife n j wouldn't ever treat me the way husband has..

So anyway now we r at the one year plus mark and he has made plans for me to be in his life...
we have not met yet due to covid and being in different countries... he is in my home land where I do see myself in the future..

Things with husband r getting better but he is still always on his Fone around me I presume chatting to her who is also in the homeland..

Do I take the plunge or do I stay in a marriage where I'm not feeling it 100%
Pls be gentle... my heart n mind aching for some love n acceptance...

The guy is single by the way...

OP posts:
SuperSange · 22/08/2022 20:59

You're not stuck; you're having an affair, same as your husband is. Split up and see where you are from there. Be prepared to be dumped by your boyfriend once you're single though.

Alcemeg · 22/08/2022 21:00

Sounds like your relationship with your husband has runs its course. But don't pin all your hopes on this stranger!

sunflowerneedshersun · 22/08/2022 21:06

Yea I agree on my part it's an emotional affair but this guy just 'gets me' to the core... he knows my state of mind by just seeing a pic of me or just a few words in a msg... I have proof of how he has changed his life to have me with him.. his friends n family know about me... he involves me in major decisions..

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 22/08/2022 21:06

I can’t see how things are getting better between you while you’re both cheating. You don’t need to answer but it’s an odd thing to say. The marriage is dead. There’s nothing to save.

Do you have children?

AnneLovesGilbert · 22/08/2022 21:07

Have you even met him?

brownbeauty80 · 22/08/2022 21:07

I have 2 kids.. 19 n 16
He has 0

brownbeauty80 · 22/08/2022 21:08

Not met due to all this happening in covid and different countries..

SuperSange · 22/08/2022 21:09

So a guy tags you in a few memes and you're planning a future with him? You've not met? You must be off your rocker. You should leave your husband anyway, but sheesh.

Dotcheck · 22/08/2022 21:09

You’ve never met this ‘guy’. He could be anyone! He could smell!
Just dump your husband, and work on healthy relationship with yourself

Wolfiefan · 22/08/2022 21:11

You’re not free to have a relationship. Deal with the relationship with the husband. The other man isn’t the point here.

TheWeeDonkey · 22/08/2022 21:16

Your husband is having an affair and you're being catfished. You're not stuck OP, you're lost. Grow up and get a grip.

dribblewibble · 22/08/2022 21:19

This guy isn't real op. He's catfishing you.

ParsleyPesto · 22/08/2022 21:24

Thing is with online connections instigated during a rough patch, it gets intense very quickly but much of it is in your head. Actually spending time together might be very different.

wellhelloitsme · 22/08/2022 22:19

NC fail OP.

Stomacharmeleon · 22/08/2022 22:34

Catfish.... yeuch.

Mmhmmn · 04/06/2023 20:34

Ultimately he's after UK Visa or your money.

YukoandHiro · 04/06/2023 20:36

Zombie thread.

What happened next OP?

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