My girlfriends search history of ex's ....red flag?

[icklepol]

Me and my girlfriend have been together 17 months now.
She had been single two years but made it clear she hadn't been a nun in those two years.
Saturday night I logged on to the laptop and she had her Facebook on and not logged out ..for whatever reason I clicked her search bar and she had all her ex's in her previous search (including a few one nighters )
I know this because she's talked about them and showed me them on Facebook (spoke about how they met etc )

Is this a bit worrying ?
Or am I paranoid ?

Most of them were girls she just slept with casual

Saturday night I logged on to the laptop and she had her Facebook on and not logged out ..for whatever reason I clicked her search bar

Because you're a nosy sod. I'd be furious if a partner was checking up on me

Dude.

Boundaries.

Red flag is you checking her internet history

Seek and ye shall find
Lots of people have a nosey at people they've been with, it's not a big deal but also doesn't feel nice to see!

Surely they are in the search history from when she searched them to show you?

Also I've been married 5 years and love nosing at my ex, his family and friends I used to get on with, his new wife etc. It's just curiosity, literally wouldn't touch him with a barge pole.

She showed me the then at the beginning of our relationship so I doubt her search history hadn't changed in over a year

Ha ! I looked at my ex on Facebook today - from 28 years ago. People do it, people are curious.

I just checked my search bar and it's been over 2 years since I searched for anyone.

However I do think it's weird she showed you her exs/shags on fb and talked about how she meet them. Did you ask about them or did she volunteer the information? Both scenarios are red flags.

@Thingsdogetbetter we were just having a drink at the beginning of our relationship and she asked if I ever searched my ex's and she said she did and showed me them

She was probably just being nosey, like we all are but most don't show it off.

Stop invading her privacy

So she already told you at the beginning of the relationship that she did this.

I’m almost 40 and still occasionally look up exes from my early teens, or friends I haven’t seen from primary school. It’s just curiosity wondering what they look like and how they’re doing now.

Sometimes I do this for pure nosyness, no feelings involved or bad intent. Will teach you not to look in future 😃

She told you already she is nosey...

I used to occasionally be nosey at exes Facebook's, just to see what they're up to. Exactly the same as checking up on old friends, people I used to know etc. Nothing at all in it, just the fact I was incredibly nosy. I no longer have Facebook so don't bother with it anymore.

Totally fine, just nosy. I search for my exes every few months or so. I’ve been happily married for 12 years. I’m just nosy and a bit judgmental so I like to see how rubbish their lives look now. It’s absolutely not because I have any interest in the whatsoever!

I sometimes look up exes from years ago out of curiosity. I have no feelings towards them.

Why was she telling you this stuff in the first place? That’s stuff’s private and irrelevant to her current relationship with you. Why would she share it unless she either has something to prove or something to gain.

Anyway, whatever. You’ve been nosey. Found stuff you don’t like. So what next?
What do YOU want to do about it? Confront her? Sit and stew on it?

I don't think occasionally looking up people from your past is a red flag.

I think giving chapter and verse, along with internet evidence, of a catalogue of exes to a newish partner is though. That's hardly going make you feel good and it wasn't intended to. It sowed the seed that made you insecure enough to look at her history.

That doesn't mean it was OK to look, but it does mean this relationship isn't doing you any good.

There are no rules OP. Everyone is allowed to google what they want, as long as it's within the law.

If your partner is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, talk about it. If you can't, leave. If you do, and don't get a response that makes you more comfortable, leave. Issues in relationships need to be talked through and sorted out so that both parties feel good. If you can't do that, it doesn't matter what your issues are; you don't actually have a relationship.

I don't think it is a red flag, no.

You don't have to erase your past from your life just because you have moved on. I'm fb friends with my exH and we split up 30 years ago!

Not massively, depends if she's doing it obsessively. It may be that you happened to look on the one day that she's done it.

I don't use facebook anymore but every so often I'll reactivate my account because I need to contact a business on there or something like that, and I do end up down a rabbit hole of searching for random people from school, from uni, and also exes even though I have absolutely zero romantic interest in them. It's just pure curiousity at how their life has turned out.