How long to know if it’s going anywhere

[GinnyJelly]

Met a man from OLD, and we have been dating for 4 months (exclusively). This is the longest relationship I’ve had from OLD (previous relationship was 20 years). On paper we look quite suitable, similar level jobs, kids similar age (teens) and both don’t want more, we live close by. But I don’t have any deep emotions for him, he hasn’t mentioned having any either. Is it worth continuing with the relationship? I don’t want to pursue anything if it’s not going anywhere but he is one of the only ‘normal’ men I have met online (not a weirdo, pervert, seems genuine). I’ve also read that most men say ‘I love you’ within 3 months and we don’t seem close to that.

I think one of the biggest problems with online dating is that it encoutlrags people to settle because they've encountered worse.

I suppose it depends on whether you want pleasant and compatible or love...

I know what I held out for!

I didnt tell my DP that I loved him till approx 7 months in (and vice versa). Takes time for me to love someone. Is everything else great ?

If you're asking the question, it's already too long for your preference. There's no 'right' or 'wrong'. If the relationship isn't what you want, don't stay in it because he's better than some people who are really bad.

Why would you do that? Do you really think happiness comes from 'I don't feel much for my partner, but I stay with him because some other randoms would be bad for me'?

I think one of the biggest problems with online dating is that it encoutlrags people to settle because they've encountered worse

This. I do empathise. It can feel hard enough meeting someone who meets the bare minimum requirements for being a decent human being so it's tempting to settle when we do. But you deserve better than not bad.

I think after 4 months, you'd be able to tell if things were heading in a meaningful direction. You may not necessarily be in love yet, but you'd have some idea if you were heading there.

Been seeing a guy from tinder for over 3 months, not at the love stage but have had the conversation where we both agree this is far beyond just dating and its feeling like it could be something serious.

Be open, ask him where he wants it to go.

Took me 7 years to realise it wasn't ever going to get anywhere