Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating with cancer

4 replies

Frostyfrops · 21/08/2022 22:45

I’m a single parent with an incurable but (hopefully) manageable cancer. I’ve not really had any serious relationships since having my child 15 years ago. I was hoping now they are a bit older and more independent that I could try dating again but this diagnosis has put a spanner in the works.

I’ve been on tinder the over the weekend but feel like giving up as I’m probably now seen as un-dateable. How on earth do you bring up having this illness into conversation? I hate the thought of one-night stands and really hoped to find someone I could spend time with now my teen is wanting to do their own thing now.

OP posts:
Greyandrare123 · 21/08/2022 23:34

I too have an incurable but treatable cancer. Im not dating but I do have many male friends who Ive had to tell Ive got cancer.
I wonder if you said 'i have an incurable yet treatable cancer'. Then before they start making assumptions or start with the toxic positivity say 'this is how it effects me'.
Id say keep it brief, realistic and it will help weed out those who need weeding out.
Then take it from there.
The issue is they will or may make assumptions unless they know that advancements in cancer treatment have resulted in us leading relatively normal lives.

MaChienEstUnDick · 21/08/2022 23:39

Of course you're not undateable! But what I would say is there's no nuance on online dating sites. At all. People are literally swiping based on random boxes to check. At the risk of sounding like Cathy and Claire, I think you'll have better luck exploring hobbies, volunteering, all that stuff.

Just make sure they're in target-rich areas. I mean, I love my choir but we've one man to every 30 women.

OldFan · 21/08/2022 23:43

'I have a cancer but it's one you can live with' or something like that? I think 'incurable' as a word would make some people freak out more than saying 'there isn't a cure but it's manageable with treatment' or something.

Original poster
Frostyfrops · 22/08/2022 08:31

Thanks everyone for your helpful replies. Sorry i was in full self-pity mode last night!

Dating being a single parent is tough enough as it is without having cancer thrown in. Probably should have tried harder a few years ago!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page